Not so Hot

“Hot Moves” came to us thanks to the ’80s’ wave of sex comedies –easily inspired by films like “Private School” and “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” but without inspiration or creativity. This film is amazingly inept, yet you can’t help but watch this train wreck until the end.

Of course, the fare costs you 90 minutes of your life.

Certain exploitation films have had needless padding. “Dollman vs. Demonic Toys” is 68 minutes long and 30 of those are filled with flashbacks to the previous films. “Silent Night Deadly Night 2” is 50 percent footage from the first one in the series.

And they are Criterion-worthy when compared to this flick.

How the makers of this lazy creation managed to find a way to pad a film that is not even a sequel will forever be a mystery, something Sarah McLaughlin could never build.

It features a two and a half minute opening credit sequence, followed by 10 minutes of beach footage. We see things like break dancers on the sand and people walking while awful theme music plays in the background.

Did the director think people wouldn’t notice this? The film really could play out in 65 minutes.

While many accuse Ed Wood (“Plan 9 from Outer Space”) to be the worst film maker of all time, at least he showed passion for his work. Jim Sotos (“Sweet Sixteen”), however, the director of this lovely concoction, demonstrated an utter lack of appeal in the creation of this motion picture, responsible for a dull universe and similarly uninteresting characters.

One wonders if on the morning of the first shoot, he read the scenes for the first time.

This flick features the type of plot you’ve seen a million times before “American Pie” stole it. Four high school buds decide to get laid during summer break.

The beautiful Jill Schoelen (“Cutting Class,” “Stepfather”) has some on-screen charm in her other work, but you would never guess that from watching this film. She plays the one-dimensional nice girl who doesn’t want to have sex. Her boyfriend, Michael, (Adam Silbar, “How I Got Into College”) has dumped her because she won’t put out. He continues to pursue her on and off in the film because she is the “good girl,” but never once during the movie are we shown reasons why this girl is so special.

This is due to the fact that Sotos doesn’t take any time to define these characters, yet wants the audience to root for them in the end.

Great logic, eh?

This awful trend continues in the performance of the portly and Hawaiian shirt clad Michael Zorek, (“Private School”) who has since honored the audience by quitting the industry. During his career, he was a terrible actor with zero charisma. He seems to be aping the great John Belushi poorly in this film.

Code Red has been doing good work on releasing exploitation movies. Many films would never be on DVD if it wasn’t for this company. However, with that being said, one wonders why they bothered releasing this unimportant relic.

Code Red released the DVD with some good extra footage, including interviews with Zorek and Silbar. It also includes a commentary with Sotos, the writer Peter Foldy, Silbar and Zorek. Sadly though, Code Red did not release any of the trailers for upcoming films on this disc, which is one of the best features on their DVDs.

All in all, a pretty good package for the film.

Some people might be curious to see “Hot Moves,” due to its unexpected cult following from its Vestron video days, but don’t let your curiosity get the best of you.

“Hot Moves” may provide giggles to the under twelve years of age crowd, but adults will find it to be a sleazy attempt at an 80’s staple of comedy.