TNA Impact Wrestling Coverage: Love and Marriage

“Look at you, talking like you’ve got some hair on your nuts.”

-Austin Aries

Thank you Austin Aries- the modern-day Tully Blanchard.

Quick on the microphone and one of the best workers in TNA, he made this episode of Impact Wrestling entertaining.

But in typical TNA fashion, they ruined it.

Why is Zema Ion feuding with Aries? Heel vs. Heel? The fans don’t respect Ion yet. With his phony smile, over-acting and lack of real-ring polish, Ion isn’t ready to hang with the big boys…yet.

Their match at Victory Road will definitely be the best on the card, but you can’t help but wonder how much better Ion could be in a few years if he was in OVW right now or how much cooler Aries would be feuding with a face that could make him look even more like the bastard he’s already proven himself to be.

Aside from Aries, hearing the wedding plans of ODB and Eric Young was fun. Everything else was just drab, boring and near snore-inducing.

Penn Jillette, um wait… Abyss-sans mask, made another appearance on Impact. Who knows where that’s going? Chances are, like most of the storylines in the company right now, it’ll be a mess

Matches:

Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky: Two beauties in a tough knockouts encounter. Rayne is one of the strongest competitors in the division and Sky continues to work hard. This worked out well- Rayne has a nice assortment of moves and Sky can sell. But this wasn’t too technical a match. Aside from a nice neckbreaker from Rayne, this was mostly an attack-oriented match. After a roll-up counter, Rayne got a handful of Sky’s trunks for the win.

Crimson w/Matt Morgan vs. Samoa Joe w/ Magnus: Crimson is getting better, but Joe is just so much more talented. Seeing Joe sell for Crimson eliminates any suspense of disbelief. After going through his repertoire of moves, Crimson hit a Sidewalk Slam and started yapping with the referee. With an opportunity to turn the tide, Joe then hit a Urinage Suplex of sorts, but Matt Morgan distracted the referee before Joe could fully capitalize, opening the door for a Crimson spear, which ironically got him the win.

TNA Knockouts Champion Gail Kim vs. Mickie James: Kim worked on James’ leg throughout with a unique combination of grapples and submissions. This was a damn good Knockouts match. The divas can’t work like this. Kim got the win after an interesting set of counters that allowed the champion to take the easy way out.

Christopher Daniels vs. Mr. Anderson: How could four awesome workers be involved in a feud so boring? Anderson looked decent in his first match back and won via Mic-Check, but damn was it a snoozer.

Five Minute Open Challenge: Garett Bischoff vs. Kurt Angle: This match was five minutes for a reason. That’s all the fans could stand. Biscoff is super green and Angle just walked all over him. Punches and snap suplexes galore here. Bischoff showed some moxie though and even after an Angle Slam, he lasted the entire five minutes. That seemed to only piss off Angle, who put Baby Bischoff in an Ankle Lock for his troubles. Jeff Hardy then hit the ring to save the kid.

Gunner w/Bully Ray vs. James Storm: Storm continues to prove himself as a solid singles performer with plenty of fan support. Gunner continues to grow, but isn’t where he needs to be just yet. Storm won easily with a Super Kick.