WWE RAW Coverage: Heyman’s Wasted Return and Lightning Fast Matches

You just gotta love John Laurinaitis.

His promo in the beginning of RAW this week was entertaining. To tell the WWE Universe about his exploits in Japan was interesting, even if it was hyperbole. But while he stretched his accomplishments, he did show newer fans he’s more than a mouthpiece. The creator of some of the most important finishing maneuvers in wrestling history, he’s more than the joke CM Punk and company make him out to be.

But not by much.

Aside from Johnny Ace’s opening promo and Punk’s rebuttal, this week’s RAW was a bore.

That could have all changed when Paul Heyman made his return to RAW. It’s sad most of the current WWE fans have no idea how lucky they were to be in his presence. Even worse, WWE creative made Heyman utter such an elongated and tiresome promo. The end was all that mattered. Brock Lesnar has “quit” the WWE.

Calm down. Lesnar isn’t done. The company simply has to watch his number of appearances to satisfy his contract.

The rest of the show was also filled with missteps. John Cena’s promo with Michael Cole was typical good cop-bad cop and every match, aside from the Sheamus/Orton/Jericho/Del Rio encounter, were for the most part, quick and dirty.

Matches:

WWE Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. The Big Show: After a few minutes of action, Rhodes walked out on the match, earning Big Show the win via-count out.

WWE Tag Team Champion Kofi Kingston w/ R-Truth vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vikki Guerrero and Jack Swagger: Kingston’s SOS maneuver is awesome, but it wasn’t enough to get the win. Ziggler’s Zig-Zig and help from Swagger were though.

Natalya and Maxine vs. Kelly Kelly and WWE Divas Champion Layla: Maxine caught the neckbreaker from Layla. Game over. Snore.

World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus and Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio and Chris Jericho: Two makeshift teams means no chemistry. There was none here. This match felt like a singles match with four competitors. All four went through some of their signature offense. The heels worked on Sheamus’ injured shoulder early on but once Orton got the hot tag, the Viper went to work on Del Rio and Jericho. After interference from Carlos Rodriguez, Del Rio got the upper-hand. Soon enough, it was Sheamus who got the hot tag and just like magic, his shoulder wasn’t as much a factor. After an Irish Curse Breaker, he accidently hit Orton with a Brogue Kick (Orton took out Del Rio with an RKO just moments before.), which left Jericho an opportunity for the Code Breaker and the win. After the match Orton hit the RKO on Sheamus.

Brodus Clay vs. The Miz: After six months, Clay got his first real test. Although he got the win and sold enough to not embarrass The Miz, he proved he doesn’t have much high-powered moved in his arsenal. After the T-Bone suplex, he hit his splash for the win.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai w/ Sakamoto and Daniel Bryan: Punk and Bryan did most of the heavy lifting. Their match at the next PPV will be a thriller. Tensai hit all of his power moves when he had to, but ran out of gas in his first real test after a decent match with John Cena a few weeks back. He hit a lackluster version of the Choke Bomb, but got the win after his Green Mist/Von Erich Claw Hold/STO combo. Bryan applied the Yes Lock after the bell.

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About Patrick Hickey Jr. 13819 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is a full-time Assistant Professor of Communication & Performing Arts and Director of the Journalism program at Kingsborough Community College and is the chairman of the City University of New York Journalism Council. He is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of ReviewFix.com. He's also a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and National Video Games Writer at Examiner.com where his work was mentioned in National Ad campaigns by Disney, Nintendo and EA Sports. Hickey was also the Editor-In-Chief of two College Newspapers before he received his BA in Journalism from Brooklyn College. Hickey's work has been published in The New York Daily News, The New York Times, Complex, The Hockey Writers, Yahoo!, Broadway World, Examiner, NYSportScene Magazine, ProHockeyNews.com, GothamBaseball.com, The Syracuse Post-Standard, Scout.com and the official sites of the Brooklyn Aces and New York Islanders. His first book, The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews With Cult And Classic Video Game Developers was released in April 2018 and is chock full of interviews with legendary developers. His second book in the series, The Minds Behind Adventures Games, was released in December 2019. His third book, The Minds Behind Sports Games, was released in September 2020. His fourth book, The Minds Behind Shooter Games, was released in March 2021. The Minds Behind Sega Genesis Games and The Minds Behind PlayStation Games were released in 2022 and The Minds Behind PlayStation 2 was published in January 2023. Hickey is also a contracted comic book writer, currently penning his original series, "Condrey," as well as "The Job," "Brooklyn Bleeds" "Dem Gulls" and "KROOM" for Legacy Comix, where he serves as founder, owner and Editor-in-Chief. Hickey Jr. is also a voice actor, having starred in the 2018 indie hit and 2019 Switch, PS4 and Xbox One release, The Padre (also serving as English language Story Editor), from Shotgun With Glitters. The sequel, The Padre: One Shell Straight to Hell was released in February 2021- Hickey also served as a Story Editor and Lead Voiceover performer. He has also done narration and trailers for several other titles including The Kaiju Offensive, Relentless Rex and Roniu’s Tale. Hickey is also the lead voiceover performer on Mega Cat Studios’ upcoming title WrestleQuest, responsible for nearly 90 characters in the game, as well as Skybound's Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood, where he voices both Dracula and Renfield, as well as several other characters. He also stars in Ziggurat Interactive’s World Championship Boxing Manager 2, where he performs the VO of nearly every male character in the game. He also worked on the Atari VCS’s BPM Boy.

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