WWE Raw Coverage: Land of the DQ
After being “knocked out cold” at last Sunday’s Over The Limit PPV, guess who opens up Monday’s broadcast? Of course, it’s John Cena, naturally showing no signs of injury. Yeah, it’s been the “cool” thing to call him Super Cena, but the guy heals more like Wolverine.
Unlike most weeks, Cena doesn’t have his normal, goofy smirk on. He’s all business.
Cena spent the majority of his time on Sunday embarrassing and tormenting John Laurinaitis before the bell rang to begin their match. Laurinaitis would leave the ring, only to be “dragged” back by Big Show, the man he had fired on the previous Raw.
In a move that shocked no one, Show turned on Cena, knocking him out and allowing Big Johnny to keep his job.
In wonderful fashion, Laurinaitis comes out to address Cena, on a motorized scooter (which Jerry Lawler referred to as a Hoveround, so he probably owes them a royalty check).
Next to come out is Big Show, who is now under contract once again and cements his heel turn by shouting down the audience, as they’ve shown him “no support.”
Lastly, Otunga comes out, and we begin the matches for an episode of RAW that will be remembered more as a letdown than anything worthwhile.
Otunga vs. Cena: Cena chases Otunga, finally locks in an STF and makes him tap. Note: Laurinaitis actually lasted longer in the STF on Sunday than Otunga did on Raw. After the match, Cena was attacked by Hawkins, Tyler Reks, Titus O’Neil and Darren Young- why? Who knows, but Sheamus makes the save and Big Johnny sets up a, listen closely, three on two tag team lumberjack match as the night’s main event.
Orton vs. Del Rio: Before the match, Santino Ricardo had a fun back-and-forth. Why? I don’t know, but it wasn’t the worst thing Santino has done.
Orton is wonderfully consistent and Del Rio has improved tenfold since his return. The match, however, is rather short, and ends in a DQ as Chris Jericho attacks Orton.
Daniel Bryan vs. Kane: Before the match, Punk and Bryan have a back-and-forth, referencing the ending of their match on Sunday. Punk says that he’s got unfinished business form last Smackdown and Bryan will be facing Kane. Punk sits at the commentary table, but interferes and threatens to hit Kane with a chair, but chooses not to and leaves Bryan with the chair, ultimately ending in a beat down from Kane.
Christian vs. Jinder Mahal: No real reason for this squash, other than to showcase Christian as the new Intercontinental Champion. Mahal gets the Killswitch and Frog Splash.
Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly: Beth Phoenix could make a mannequin look good in the ring. She’s everything I wish the Divas’ division could be
Kelly Kelly is a horrendous wrestler, and Beth managed to pull a better than average match out of her. Beth wins in typical, dominating fashion.
Cena/Sheamus vs. Swagger/Ziggler & Tensai: Ok, this is a three-on-two handicap tag match, while also being a lumberjack match. If anything, this match helped legitimize Swagger and Ziggler, who have been used in less-than-ideal roles over the past few weeks. Tensai has dropped the “Lord” moniker, and his Supper Shredder entrance gear. All of the lumberjacks, obviously heels, end up brawling in and out of the ring with Cena and Sheamus, closing the show with its third DQ, this time, a No Contest.
Michael W. Torbik
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