WWE RAW Coverage: Twinkie Tits and a Magical Anniversary

Name a show that has been on television for 20 consecutive years- that’s not a soap opera and on at 1pm.

You can’t. There’s only one Monday Night Raw.

Four billion viewers can’t be wrong.

To celebrate 20 years on the air, the WWE pulled out all the big stops. Legends, steel cages and a laugh-out-loud funny “Rock” concert- this episode had it all.

As a matter of fact, The Rock’s concert, highlighted by a Eric Clapton cover, where he destroyed Vikki Guerrero, was the best part of the show.

Rock calling Paul Heyman “Twinkie Tits” was pretty enjoyable as well.

Aside from the hilarity, the program also advanced most of the storylines for Royal Rumble.

Aside from John Cena and Dolph Ziggler continuing their feud, The Big Show will get his rematch with new World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio. Team Hell No’s angle with the Rhodes Scholars continues to get dicey and Mick Foley was named as the first inductee into the 2013 class of the WWE Hall of Fame. The Shield may have also bit off more than they can chew after Randy Orton, Ryback and Sheamus made sure the trio didn’t have their way with Foley. Could a massive six-man tag be in the works?

A new Divas champion was also crowned and CM Punk continued his reign of dominance with a convincing win over Brodus Clay. Aside from that, some fast-paced singles matches and Ric Flair’s appearance on Miz TV filled out a wonderful show.

Even after 20 years, the show continues to entertain. With Royal Rumble in a few weeks and Wrestlemania season on its way, RAW is still the best wrestling show on the planet.

Matches:

Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton: A good opener that had a nice combination of Orton’s flash and Barrett’s ground and pound style. Both had their moments in control, but Barrett sold a bit more. Just when you thought Orton had the match going his way, Barrett countered the RKO and nailed Orton with the Bull Hammer Elbow for the clean win.

WWE Tag Team Champion Kane w/ Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow w/ Cody Rhodes: Kane went through his signature offense early and finished off Sandow rather easily with a Chokeslam.

WWE Divas Champion Eve Torrez vs. Kaitlyn: A decent match in which Torrez was in control after Kaitlyn’s torrid start. After Torrez used a nice triangle leg choke, Kailtyn got to the ropes and began her offensive attack. Torrez kicked out of Kaitlyn’s reverse Snap DDT, but Kaitlyn kicked out of Torrez’s rolling neckbreaker finisher as well. When Torrez went for the move again, Kaitlyn countered into the Gutbuster, but Torrez rolled to the outside. Once the action got back in the ring, Kaitlyn nailed Torrez with a massive spear to earn her first Divas championship. Later in the night, Eve “announced” that she had “quit” the company.

WWE Heavyweight Champion CM Punk w/Paul Heyman vs. Brodus Clay: In an old-school match of punches, kicks and shoulder blocks, Punk went retro and beat Clay with a top-rope elbow drop/Anaconda Vice combo.

Over the Top Rope Challenge: Sheamus vs. Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal and Drew MacIntyre: Pure filler. 3MB pounded on Sheamus for a while, but the Celtic Warrior eliminated Mahal and MacIntyre rather quickly. With just Slater left however, the rest of 3MB tugged on Sheamus and got the win for their team. After the match, Sheamus nailed the three of them with Brogue Kick.

WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan w/ Kane vs. Cody Rhodes w/ Damien Sandow: Another quick win where Bryan got Rhodes to tap out with the Yes Lock.

Steel Cage Match: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ AJ Lee and Big E. Langston: This was a counter-filled slugfest with plenty of offense. The pace was fast and of course, Langston and Lee played a part, but not to the point where Ziggler looked weak. Using the Sleeper, Zig-Zag and Superkick with deadly proficiency, Ziggler is a magician with a full assortment of tricks. The dependable veteran, Cena’s routine works and he often had his way with Ziggler, but every time it appeared he had the match won, Langston made his presence felt. It got to the point where Cena knew the only way he was going to win the match was by pinfall. After Lee climbed the cage and Ziggler accidently took out Langston, Cena got the win with the Attitude Adjustment.

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Patrick Hickey Jr.

Editor-in-Chief, Founder at Review Fix
Patrick Hickey Jr. is the Founder, Editor-in-Chief, Master Jedi and Grand Pooh-bah of ReviewFix.com. He is currently a full-time Journalism and English Professor at Kingsborough Community College and a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media. He also teaches Multimedia Journalism at Brooklyn College and has had articles and photos published in The New York Times, The New York Daily News and The Syracuse Post Standard. Love him. Read him.

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