The Invisible Orientation Review: Understanding Asexuality

Sex is about everywhere in our society. Our society also encourages people to have sex either because “everyone else is doing it” or because religion dictates that you must procreate. So it is a major issue if there is a person who has absolutely no desire to have sex.

This is called “asexuality.” You may not have heard of it because practically nobody talks about it. Julie Sondra Decker, a major voice on the topic, has written the very first book about asexuality called “The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality.”

The point of the book, according to Decker in the book’s introduction, is to talk about asexuality in layman’s terms. Decker accomplishes this feat perfectly. The book is written in a way that is concise, informative and easy to understand. There are some vocabulary words that she does introduce (aromantic, polyamory) but she manages to explain them in full detail without sounding like the typical boring scientist or confusing you.

Another point of the book is to inform people of what asexuality is and what it is not. Each chapter does of fine job of explaining what this orientation (which is what the book constantly reminds the reader) is. It also showcases many different types of asexual people, such as those who want meaningful relations but don’t care for sex and those who do masturbate but feel no sexual desire whatsoever.

Confused? That’s the thing this book is trying to convey. Asexuality is a lot more complicated than what you may think. Even though the book does introduce a slew of different types of asexual people, the book makes sure that you do not get confused or bombarded by terms.

Another great thing that this book does well is that it is also a sort of guide for both asexuals and “normal people.” There are two separate chapters for each person. One helps the asexual and how to deal with telling people you are one. The advice in the chapter is actually common sense, sound advice that does not involve sounding pretentious or aggressive as most self-help books tend to do.

The chapter for “normal people” pretty much takes most of the content in the book and summarizes it. This does not mean you should just read this chapter seeing as, again, there is a lot more to this content as explained in other chapters. This also helps those people on how to properly go about talking to asexuals on their orientation. This is one of the most important chapters in the book as, after reading previous chapters, people do tend to be really insensitive about the topic.

If you’re asexual and need help, this book is the best you can find. If you’re curious about asexuality, ditto. The book explains this orientation, the people and the misconceptions in everyday language and does not get boring. It may be a little to much to take in for some people, but unlike a book with a ton of medical/technical jargon and hard to read words this book make your inquires about the subject easy to understand and remember.