The Mall Cop Who Stole Your Money

After watching the first 30 minutes of Steve Carr’s “Paul Blart: Mall Cop,” it’s difficult to guess its genre. It can be categorized from anything between comedy and romance to possibly even action and in an even stranger turn of events… family.

But one word that can describe this movie with more accuracy- “brutal.”

Brutal to watch, that is.

Kevin James [“I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry,” “Hitch”] was better off staying the king in his hit television show “The King of Queens.”

Playing a security guard stuck in a mall overtaken by unprofessional crooks, James brought neither energy nor laughs throughout the entire film.

Not even in the parts that were supposed to leave the audience feeling sorry for Blart, does he merit a reaction. The only tears produced were those from consistent yawns, coming at regular 10-minute intervals.

It was nothing but a drag from start to finish.

Not only did the film have no leading lady to stand next to and spark up James’ character, such as Leah Remini did on “The King of Queens,” it did not feature any familiar faces in supporting roles. However, after seeing the wreck film turned out to be, it’s pretty obvious why any big star in Hollywood wouldn’t want to be a part of such a catastrophe.

The only thing exciting about this film was waiting for it to end.

To make matters worse, the film had no true comedic moments. The scenes that were actually funny, were shown in the commercials and trailer months before the film premiered, making it a virtual waste of time to sit through.

James’ performance was simply pathetic. It was unbelievable to see him in a role that didn’t make him funny at any point throughout the entire movie. As a movie-goer, you want to feel something for this character, but in the end, you feel nothing but pity for James and how lame this waste of film truly was.

“Paul Blart: Mall Cop,” ironically is a theft of your hard earned money. It will leave you disappointed at James’ horrid performance and leave you wanting to call someone in disgust.

It won’t be a mall cop either.