Horrible in Three Dimensions

the_final_destination_4Regardless of how many dimensions you see “The Final Destination” in, you’ll end up with the same empty feeling inside.

Why? This film is a stinker.

Void of logic, plot depth, real characters and overall satisfaction, paying money at a theater to see this film is worse than buying “Ishtar” on DVD. Overall, it’s easily the worst thing to grace theaters this summer.

While the other films in series weren’t fantastic, the first one featured solid acting by Devon Sawa and Ali Larter and enough original thought to make it more than a sleeper hit, grossing over 118 million dollars at the box office. Even the second and third were decent enough and didn’t tarnish the successful formula. However, the new stable of actors in this film, led by Bobby Campo, fail to hit the mark, producing a flat final chapter in the series.

When it’s over, you’ll forget about how much fun these movies used to be.

Directed by David R. Ellis, “The Final Destination” feels like it’s trying to emulate the other movies in the series, rather than be its own. Sure, some of the kill scenes are fun [a few of them leave something to be desired however] and the addition of 3-D make for some slightly enjoyable moments, but there’s just not enough to sink your teeth into.

The holes and unintelligent plot break this film’s back before it’s strong enough to stand. Throughout, you’ll wonder why there isn’t one police officer around asking Campo questions, considering the fact that he is the only person that seems to know what’s going on and there are people dying left and right. Instead, Mykelti “Bubba Gump” Williamson, a security guard with a drinking problem is the only person asking questions. While seeing Williamson try to hang himself and talk about all the ways he’s tried to kill himself in order to break the cycle is perhaps the funniest moment in the film, it doesn’t induce scares.

It makes you laugh.

Remember, this isn’t a comedy; it’s a horror thriller. You’re supposed to be scared when watching. The thrills and shrills never come however, giving the flick the feel of a “Scary Movie” remake, rather than a legitimate Hollywood horror flick.

This reason alone is why it’s hard to take “The Final Destination” seriously; the other is the blatantly stereotypical characters that are barely watchable.

Sprinkled throughout the film, you’ll come across, a racist [who, in about 15 minutes of screen time, makes you want to laugh at how insensitive, ridiculous and idiotic the screenwriter of this film, Eric Bress, is by writing this kind of dialog], a cowboy, a M.I.L.F. and if that wasn’t enough, an annoying misogynist in the form of Nick Zano, who turns in an equally as aggravating performance as Hunt Wynorski.

Yes, even the names of the characters are bad.

Equally as frustrating is the way this abomination ends, which, like the rest of it, lacks any sense and is rushed before anything of interest can happen. Because of this, even if you loved the first three movies in this series, “The Final Destination” is not for you.

Otherwise, you may find yourself in a vicious cycle even worse than death. Sitting through 88 minutes of the same nonsense over and over again.

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About Patrick Hickey Jr. 14230 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is a full-time Assistant Professor of Communication & Performing Arts and Director of the Journalism program at Kingsborough Community College and is the chairman of the City University of New York Journalism Council. He is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of ReviewFix.com. He's also a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and National Video Games Writer at Examiner.com where his work was mentioned in National Ad campaigns by Disney, Nintendo and EA Sports. Hickey was also the Editor-In-Chief of two College Newspapers before he received his BA in Journalism from Brooklyn College. Hickey's work has been published in The New York Daily News, The New York Times, Complex, The Hockey Writers, Yahoo!, Broadway World, Examiner, NYSportScene Magazine, ProHockeyNews.com, GothamBaseball.com, The Syracuse Post-Standard, Scout.com and the official sites of the Brooklyn Aces and New York Islanders. His first book, The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews With Cult And Classic Video Game Developers was released in April 2018 and is chock full of interviews with legendary developers. His second book in the series, The Minds Behind Adventures Games, was released in December 2019. His third book, The Minds Behind Sports Games, was released in September 2020. His fourth book, The Minds Behind Shooter Games, was released in March 2021. The Minds Behind Sega Genesis Games and The Minds Behind PlayStation Games were released in 2022 and The Minds Behind PlayStation 2 was published in January 2023. Hickey is also a contracted comic book writer, currently penning his original series, "Condrey," as well as "The Job," "Brooklyn Bleeds" "Dem Gulls" and "KROOM" for Legacy Comix, where he serves as founder, owner and Editor-in-Chief. Hickey Jr. is also a voice actor, having starred in the 2018 indie hit and 2019 Switch, PS4 and Xbox One release, The Padre (also serving as English language Story Editor), from Shotgun With Glitters. The sequel, The Padre: One Shell Straight to Hell was released in February 2021- Hickey also served as a Story Editor and Lead Voiceover performer. He has also done narration and trailers for several other titles including The Kaiju Offensive, Relentless Rex and Roniu’s Tale. Hickey is also the lead voiceover performer on Mega Cat Studios’ upcoming title WrestleQuest, responsible for nearly 90 characters in the game, as well as Skybound's Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood, where he voices both Dracula and Renfield, as well as several other characters. He also stars in Ziggurat Interactive’s World Championship Boxing Manager 2, where he performs the VO of nearly every male character in the game. He also worked on the Atari VCS’s BPM Boy.

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