All Park and No Bite

Everyone hates those “To Be Continued” cliffhangers that turn up now and then on TV, but there’s been lots of talk lately that “South Park” might’ve taken things a little too far two weeks ago by promising viewers an image of Muhammad on the next episode. The news about Muslim extremists supposedly warning creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone that the stunt might wind up getting both of them murdered has been getting a great deal of attention, though most of the reports that have been surfacing are missing a big part of the story.

Much has been said about the Muslim prophet being portrayed in a bear suit, but he wasn’t in that suit at all – Santa Claus was. (This isn’t the first time Santa’s found himself in the line of fire, either. There was one episode in which he’d been taken prisoner in Iraq, where Jesus Christ eventually used his military training to save him.)

With narrative arcs that are as colorful as all that trademark profanity, those out of the loop might be wondering why Santa was dressed that way to start with. Well, everyone in South Park was pulling a fast one by agreeing to the demands of some disgruntled celebrities who wanted Muhammad to be turned over to them, all so they could clone his “power not to be ridiculed.” Although the citizens of South Park know just where to find him, Islamic terrorists will bomb the town into oblivion if he ever shows his face there.

The best idea they can come up with is to put him in a bear costume, but just when they’re ready to hand him over to the celebrities, the Gingers – who are tired of being made fun of for having pale skin and red hair – say they want Muhammad delivered to them instead, and unless they see him come out of the bear costume, they’ll detonate bombs they’ve planted all over town. Still, even after the revelation that Muhammad wasn’t in the suit, the Gingers never get around to setting off those bombs – they’re chased away by Barbra Streisand, who has taken the form of a killer robot.

Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee, who posted the alleged (real-world) threat against Parker and Stone on www.revolutionmuslim.com, typed up the warning after the airing of the first episode but before the second. Even though he had no way of knowing how the whole thing was going to turn out, he spoke up against an offensive joke that never came. Why stir up a bunch of trouble as a precaution? Is an apology in order over all this?

Brian Dunphy, an adjunct professor at Brooklyn College who teaches a course called “‘South Park’ and Political Correctness,” stated that this doesn’t change the situation one bit. “Having Santa in the costume or not in the costume meant nothing to these people,” he wrote in an e-mail. “These radical extremists aren’t going to say, ‘Oh! It was Santa Claus, let’s leave them alone.’ These terrorists, yes, I believe they are terrorists, wanted attention, they wanted to make a splash.”

Of course, Parker and Stone usually make the biggest splashes of all. Sometimes it’s a literal splash, like what happened in a 2005 episode called “Bloody Mary,” which involved a statue of the Virgin Mary whose vagina showered blood on worshipers. Although the Catholic League demanded that the episode never be played again, Comedy Central’s still got it in standard rotation.

“If Catholics threatened to kill Matt and Trey, the episode would be pulled,” Dunphy wrote. “The message, however, is clear – all religions are fair game, except for one.”

Maybe so…or perhaps Parker and Stone slaughtered one sacred cow too many. Robert Bianco, the TV critic at USA Today, pointed out that Muhammad’s image is so sacred that Muslims aren’t even supposed to see it. “It’s the concept for them of using Muhammad in any way – comic representation or any representation at all – that angers them,” he said on the telephone during an interview.

As for the network’s future plans for the episode, Bianco said it’s only a matter of time before it’s back on the air. “I think eventually, there will be pressure, and there will be money to be made by putting it out there as the ‘Censored Forbidden Episode,’” he said. “But I think the network wants to see whether there was an actual threat of violence here – how real that threat was before it moves ahead.”

Still, since Muhammad wasn’t the one in that bear suit, it looks like the joke is really on the extremists. After all, as Stan Marsh, the elementary-school student who stars in “South Park” asked, “If we were going to have someone in a bear costume, why would we actually have it be Muhammad, you f—–g idiot?!”

This article was originally published on AllMediaNY.com