Worst Christmas Albums…Ever

There are some holiday songs that give you that special, warm feeling. Whether you’re with that certain someone or with a group of people, you will always remember those times, mostly because of the music. Then there are the Christmas songs that you wish artists would stay away from. They may have broken records and won multiple Grammys, but they can’t sing a Christmas song if their lives depended on it.

Barbara Streisand – Christmas Memories

It seemed like a good idea at the time. One of the best selling multi-generational recording artists and Christmas music makes for a good combination. After all Barbara Streisand had last released a Christmas album in 1967, which broke chart records and had several listenable tracks. Unfortunately nearly 35 years later the album “Christmas Memories” is riddled with languishing, melancholic melodies that will only depress you. And while it went platinum in the early 2000’s, it misses the mark in the celebratory department.

Boyz II Men – Christmas Interpretations

Harmonies and Christmas make a great combination – usually. However, in the case of Boyz II Men their album Christmas Interpretations had a succession of misses. The track “Let It Snow” was a hit, still it is as boring as the rest of songs on this forgettable album.

Josh Groban – Noel

Josh Groban has a rich, beautiful voice that rings out emotion in a way that has been seldom heard. Still Christmas music is a tough genre to tackle and Groban’s voice is just too big for the songs he chose to sing on this album. His “Little Drummer Boy” is painful to listen to. The subtly is completely lost within his booming vocals.

Barry Manilow – In the Swing of Christmas

When buying Christmas music one must ask themselves – Do I want to listen to this every year? In the case of Barry Manilow’s In the Swing of Christmas the answer would be no. His swing somehow swung the wrong way where he has a collection of holiday tunes with no clear relationship to each other. Granted a Christmas album can be eclectic, but the tunes should have some sort of connection. Mannilow’s concept just sounds like a mish-mosh of tracks put together.

Faith Hill – Joy to the World

Not every Christmas music should be mistaken for a lullabye, unfortunately Faith Hill doesn’t get that. Her album is one, big snooze-a-thon. If you have a cranky child or if you want your kids to go to bed early on Christmas Eve, just play this album – they’ll be out like a light in no time.

Tony Bennett – A Swingin’ Christmas

You really want to love this album. It has the Count Basie band that is simply amazing, but Bennett ruins the tracks with his walk through of many of these classic carols. His rendition of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music sounds more like bad spoken word and contradicts the high-electric vibe of the band backing him.

Wilson Phillips – Christmas in Harmony

When Wilson Phillips came out with their first album that had several hits including the track “Hold On” you thought to yourself, sure they have good voices, but they shouldn’t go beyond their range. Their latest endeavor to the holiday genre only proves that one shouldn’t go above their reach. Christmas in Harmony sounds like a group of girlfriends singing holiday tunes, only your friends aren’t Celine Dion and Mariah Carey, and a tad bit tone deaf.

Kristen Chenoweth – A Lovely Way to Spend Christmas

When you see the name Kristen Chenoweth you may think of her as only an actress, but she has a Broadway pedigree that gives reason to believe that she can handle Christmas music. However, once again the musical sword remains in the stone as Chenoweth strains to reach the emotional connection with the meaning of the tracks. She sings on key, but her musicianship has no soul here.

Jessica Simpson – Happy Christmas

It’s bad enough that several of the tracks on Happy Christmas sound like a watered-down version of Mariah Carey’s iconic Christmas album, but Simpson adds insult to injury with her rendition of “O Come O Come Emmanuel.” She sounds as if she has marbles in her mouth and is attempting to gargle at the same time.