WWE RAW Coverage: Christmas Cobras, Midget Kisses and a Lost Opportunity

With so much positive energy coming from TLC on Sunday, coming from the crowning of a new World Champion and United States Champ, all the WWE had to do was let the boys go.

Instead, they bogged down the great action with way too much story.

The first segment took 16 minutes to unfold and did nothing but set up a main event.

While the wrestling itself was solid, the promo was ineffective and boring.

It was also pretty strange.

Alicia Fox’s push set the tone early. Beating Divas Champ Beth Phoenix in a few minutes, Fox cut a weak and over inflected promo that was scoff inducing. John Cena’s promo on Kane and Mark Henry’s interruption of it was a snore as well.

Once Kane hit the ring and it looked like the show was about to pick up, all he did was rip off Cena’s shirt and walk away.

Huh? Yes, it’s okay to be confused. Millions of people were. They still are.

For the first time in a long time, Santino Marella managed to lighten the mood and induce a laugh. His Christmas cobra and Hornswoggle’s kiss on Vicki Guerrero were the only promo on the show that was entertaining. Everything else was filler.

This could have been an awesome opportunity for the WWE to continue with some of its most entertaining content in years. Instead it was merely mediocre.

While it’s fair to say the show has lost its complete luster, it just suffered from a setback it could have easily avoided.

Matches:

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett: This was an old school match. The type Johnny Rodz would have been in 25 years ago. Barrett landed tons of punches, kicks and clamped on a few standing submissions. After that “barrage,” Orton hit his powerslam and signature DDT. All in all, this match screamed routine, until Barrett hit Orton in the eye with his thumb again and earned the DQ. After the bell, Barrett caught Orton with his “Winds of Change” sideslam and then put Orton through a table via his “Wasteland” front slam maneuver.

Alicia Fox vs. Divas Champion Beth Phoenix: A neckbreaker and a flipping leg drop from Fox was all it took for a surprising win. The finisher was sloppily performed though, as she left a huge egg near the eye of Phoenix.

Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal: Mahal had his best showing against Sheamus so far, but “The Great White” was still a step ahead. After Mahal hit a few moves, Sheamus got aggressive and hit the Cross Powerbomb for the win.

Primo and Epico w/ Rosa Mendez vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso: A high-energy contest, full of spots and quality offense. Epico hit the backstabber for the win, but the Usos looked solid. This could be the beginning of a great feud between two excellent young teams.

Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella: A weird match with a weirder ending. After a few minutes of varied offense from both sides, Rhodes hit the Alabama Slam for the win.

World Champion Daniel Bryan, WWE Champion CM Punk and United States Champion Zack Ryder vs. The Miz, Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler: A fun match of cops and robbers, as the good guys hit the high spots and played to the fans. After the initial fun wore off, Bryan made the hot tag to Ryder, who paired off with Ziggler. Soon enough, Ziggler got the upper hand and tagged in Miz, who continued to work over Ryder. Eventually, Punk got the hot tag and shared the ring with the Miz. Here, Punk went through his moveset and hit a bulldog and elbow drop on Miz, before the GTS. Somehow Del Rio and Bryan became the legal men after every competitor got involved. Eventually, Bryan latched on the crossface for the win.

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About Patrick Hickey Jr. 14230 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is a full-time Assistant Professor of Communication & Performing Arts and Director of the Journalism program at Kingsborough Community College and is the chairman of the City University of New York Journalism Council. He is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of ReviewFix.com. He's also a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and National Video Games Writer at Examiner.com where his work was mentioned in National Ad campaigns by Disney, Nintendo and EA Sports. Hickey was also the Editor-In-Chief of two College Newspapers before he received his BA in Journalism from Brooklyn College. Hickey's work has been published in The New York Daily News, The New York Times, Complex, The Hockey Writers, Yahoo!, Broadway World, Examiner, NYSportScene Magazine, ProHockeyNews.com, GothamBaseball.com, The Syracuse Post-Standard, Scout.com and the official sites of the Brooklyn Aces and New York Islanders. His first book, The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews With Cult And Classic Video Game Developers was released in April 2018 and is chock full of interviews with legendary developers. His second book in the series, The Minds Behind Adventures Games, was released in December 2019. His third book, The Minds Behind Sports Games, was released in September 2020. His fourth book, The Minds Behind Shooter Games, was released in March 2021. The Minds Behind Sega Genesis Games and The Minds Behind PlayStation Games were released in 2022 and The Minds Behind PlayStation 2 was published in January 2023. Hickey is also a contracted comic book writer, currently penning his original series, "Condrey," as well as "The Job," "Brooklyn Bleeds" "Dem Gulls" and "KROOM" for Legacy Comix, where he serves as founder, owner and Editor-in-Chief. Hickey Jr. is also a voice actor, having starred in the 2018 indie hit and 2019 Switch, PS4 and Xbox One release, The Padre (also serving as English language Story Editor), from Shotgun With Glitters. The sequel, The Padre: One Shell Straight to Hell was released in February 2021- Hickey also served as a Story Editor and Lead Voiceover performer. He has also done narration and trailers for several other titles including The Kaiju Offensive, Relentless Rex and Roniu’s Tale. Hickey is also the lead voiceover performer on Mega Cat Studios’ upcoming title WrestleQuest, responsible for nearly 90 characters in the game, as well as Skybound's Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood, where he voices both Dracula and Renfield, as well as several other characters. He also stars in Ziggurat Interactive’s World Championship Boxing Manager 2, where he performs the VO of nearly every male character in the game. He also worked on the Atari VCS’s BPM Boy.

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