WWE RAW Coverage: Empty-Handed Sewer Babies

“You just need a couple of extra arrows in your quiver, kid.”- Chris Jericho.

After 15 minutes of catch-phrases, mediocre promo and some fisticuffs, this week’s RAW picked up the pace quite nicely, but it was still missing something.

Not even an appearance from Diamond Dallas Page was enough to make the show special. Two weeks before the Money in the Bank pay per view, the show had a nice flow, but was far from explosive.

The segments with A.J. added some flavor, but weren’t enough. Yeah, there were some laughs, but there wasn’t one stellar match. Again, the highlight was A.J. Creatively, her character is weird, but engaging. Her conversation with Punk after her match was orchestrated beautifully. Even though she’s a wacko, you actually felt bad for her. That’s just good stuff. Sadly, the WWE doesn’t have any others like her. Most of the roster falls neatly into their places and are all but happy to spit a catch phrase or a boring promo. While she’s been a bit out there, nothing her character has done has been routine.

If the WWE could write their superstars’ storylines as well as they have A.J.’s, then they’d be in business.

Matches:

Eight-man Tag: David Otunga, Cody Rhodes, Titus O’Neil and Darren Young w/AW vs. WWE Tag Team, champions Kofi Kingston and R-Truth, Intercontinental Champion Christian and United States Champion Santino Marella: Fast-paced opening match, but short. Otunga got hung out to dry when Young, O’Neil and Rhodes left the match. Brodus Clay soon joined the party, which allowed Marella to nail Otunga with the Cobra for the win. After the match, Otunga got caught with Christian’s Impaler and Clay’s Splash.

Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Sin Chara: Del Rio was all over the luchadore from the start and one the match got to the outside, he latched on the arm-breaker until he got DQed.

A.J. and World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler and Vikki Guerrero: Ziggler and Sheamus did most of the heavy lifting. After Ziggler tagged in Guerrero, he caught the Brogue Kick, leaving “The Queen Diva” wide open for a Shining Wizard from A.J.

Heath Slater vs. Doink the Clown: Slater finally won a match, hitting the neckbreaker on Doink for the win. Diamond Dallas Page hit the ring after the bell and nailed Slater with the Diamond Cutter.

No DQ: Kane vs. Big Show: Some near-falls and top rope moves, in addition to some action outside the ring and weapons- this match had a lot for a big man fight. Show won with a Chokeslam on a chair. He may have injured his shoulder in the process.

Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai w/ Sakamoto: Kidd shocked the world with a quick roll-up win. Tensai took his frustrations out on Sakamoto afterward.

John Cena and WWE Champion C.M. Punk vs. Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho: Some good chain wrestling between Punk and Bryan early on. Jericho and Bryan did an excellent job of keeping Cena in the corner and on the ground. But of course, Cena, who surprisingly sold a bit, was not to be pinned. Once Punk got the hot tag on, we put on a clinic, hitting all his signature moves and clamping on the Anaconda Vice on Bryan. Jericho broke up the submission and was then taken out by Cena. This left Bryan and Punk alone to take it home. Punk kicked out of the Buzzsaw Kick and hit a superplex, but Bryan wasn’t done.

This could have been the best match on RAW this year.

A.J. then made her way to the ring and realized quickly that both Bryan and Punk weren’t affected by her “skip” anymore. Setting up a table on the outside, she climbed the turnbuckle. That’s when Punk and Bryan suddenly cared. With Bryan on the floor and Punk climbing up to try to coax her down, A.J. ended up kissing Punk and pushing him into Bryan, sending them both through the table. No contest.

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About Patrick Hickey Jr. 14230 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is a full-time Assistant Professor of Communication & Performing Arts and Director of the Journalism program at Kingsborough Community College and is the chairman of the City University of New York Journalism Council. He is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of ReviewFix.com. He's also a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and National Video Games Writer at Examiner.com where his work was mentioned in National Ad campaigns by Disney, Nintendo and EA Sports. Hickey was also the Editor-In-Chief of two College Newspapers before he received his BA in Journalism from Brooklyn College. Hickey's work has been published in The New York Daily News, The New York Times, Complex, The Hockey Writers, Yahoo!, Broadway World, Examiner, NYSportScene Magazine, ProHockeyNews.com, GothamBaseball.com, The Syracuse Post-Standard, Scout.com and the official sites of the Brooklyn Aces and New York Islanders. His first book, The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews With Cult And Classic Video Game Developers was released in April 2018 and is chock full of interviews with legendary developers. His second book in the series, The Minds Behind Adventures Games, was released in December 2019. His third book, The Minds Behind Sports Games, was released in September 2020. His fourth book, The Minds Behind Shooter Games, was released in March 2021. The Minds Behind Sega Genesis Games and The Minds Behind PlayStation Games were released in 2022 and The Minds Behind PlayStation 2 was published in January 2023. Hickey is also a contracted comic book writer, currently penning his original series, "Condrey," as well as "The Job," "Brooklyn Bleeds" "Dem Gulls" and "KROOM" for Legacy Comix, where he serves as founder, owner and Editor-in-Chief. Hickey Jr. is also a voice actor, having starred in the 2018 indie hit and 2019 Switch, PS4 and Xbox One release, The Padre (also serving as English language Story Editor), from Shotgun With Glitters. The sequel, The Padre: One Shell Straight to Hell was released in February 2021- Hickey also served as a Story Editor and Lead Voiceover performer. He has also done narration and trailers for several other titles including The Kaiju Offensive, Relentless Rex and Roniu’s Tale. Hickey is also the lead voiceover performer on Mega Cat Studios’ upcoming title WrestleQuest, responsible for nearly 90 characters in the game, as well as Skybound's Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood, where he voices both Dracula and Renfield, as well as several other characters. He also stars in Ziggurat Interactive’s World Championship Boxing Manager 2, where he performs the VO of nearly every male character in the game. He also worked on the Atari VCS’s BPM Boy.

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