WWE RAW Coverage: Fruit Roll-Ups, Skeletor and Getting’ Punk-ed Out

CM Punk has a decision to make. Ryback or John Cena.

In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves, “What would you do?”

Hell in the Cell will be a blast either way, but the thought of an injured Cena or a green Ryback in the Main Event means Punk will do the heavy lifting.

This was a RAW with a ton of other developments too.

John Cena missed you.

The WWE missed him too.

He apparently asked out RAW General Manager AJ Lee. Believe that.

Punk also slapped the taste out of Vince McMahon’s mouth. Believe that.

McMahon, even in his 60s, proved he’s just as crazy a bastard as ever.

Line of the night. “I believe from my sources…”- Larry King. When did he get those?

Gotta love The Miz. To call out Kofi Kingston on his cheap pop and shoot on Kingston and King was fantastic. The angle between the two should breathe some life into the Intercontinental title.

The promo work of Kane and Daniel Bryan continues to be their biggest selling point. It’s a scary thought- considering they’re fantastic in the ring too.

With the ton of matches and quality promo, this wasn’t a terrible show. The sense of urgency was there was the WWE has to do something to set up this pay per view properly. With all of Punk’s heat, it’s obvious he and Cena will fight at Hell in the Cell, so why not say it already?

Why not cut the nonsense and build this angle, and not watch an elderly CEO get his rear handed to him.

Matches:

Ryback vs. Epico and Primo w/ Rosa Mendez: The former tag Team Champions had their moments, but after a pair of clotheslines and a double Shellshock, that was all she wrote.

Tag Team Tournament: Primetime Players Darren Young and Titus O’Neill vs. Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio: The high flyers were on their game early on with splashes and planchas galore. The Playa’s fought back with some vicious brawling, but a Tornado DDT from Cara and a hot tag to Mysterio kept the faces in the driver’s seat. Young did hit his finisher on Cara, but he wasn’t the legal man. A 619 and splash later from Mysterio and the luchadors advanced to the finals.

World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett: The World Champion continues to sweat in the ring. He works his arse off every night. Although Barrett’s style is very similar and he doesn’t compliment “The Great White” well, Sheamus was strong and didn’t make Barrett look weak. This was a fight. Barrett hit a few moves that show his true potential. Things got hairy on the outside, but Sheamus was tougher. Tensai’s interference ruined the encounter and caused a DQ. Afterward Big Show, who was ringside, had his way with the young champion, but again, Sheamus proved himself.

United States Champion Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd: Cesaro was the aggressor throughout with a nice combination of brawling, suplexes and submission holds. Kidd had a flare or two, but Cesaro’s European uppercut and Neutralizer finisher put Kidd away.

Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio w/ Ricardo Rodriguez and Vikki Guerrero vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Kane and Daniel Bryan: This was originally a high-energy match with four excellent workers, but in the end it dragged on a bit too long. Bryan and Ziggler in the ring especially was something special, but again, there was no storyline binding this together. The constant tags between Kane and Bryan are fun, but are getting old. Kane kicked out of a Zig-Zag. Cool, right? It just didn’t mean anything. Guerrero and Rodriguez arguing for the entirety of the match added some much-needed flavor. Kane won with the Chokeslam.

Tag Team Tournament: Zack Ryder and Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow: Quick match that saw Rhodes hit the Disaster Kick on Marella for the win. This tag team could be something special. After the match, Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre beat up on Ryder and Marella.

WWE Divas Champion Eve Torrez vs. Kaitlyn: A surprisingly decent match, well for a Divas encounter. Kaitlyn has a completely different body frame from every other Divas. Still beautiful, she’s super compact and strong. She showed flashes of that tonight, but the crafty Torrez won with an Ankle submission.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Vince McMahon: Wow. These guys were stiff with one another. It was almost like a bar fight. Add in some blood, busted announce tables and a kendo stick battle, this was fun, but it wasn’t flattering for Punk. The fact that “The Best in the World” would have problems with an old man is a joke. Thankfully it ended in a no-contest after Ryback and Cena joined the party and Punk bailed.

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About Patrick Hickey Jr. 14230 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is a full-time Assistant Professor of Communication & Performing Arts and Director of the Journalism program at Kingsborough Community College and is the chairman of the City University of New York Journalism Council. He is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of ReviewFix.com. He's also a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and National Video Games Writer at Examiner.com where his work was mentioned in National Ad campaigns by Disney, Nintendo and EA Sports. Hickey was also the Editor-In-Chief of two College Newspapers before he received his BA in Journalism from Brooklyn College. Hickey's work has been published in The New York Daily News, The New York Times, Complex, The Hockey Writers, Yahoo!, Broadway World, Examiner, NYSportScene Magazine, ProHockeyNews.com, GothamBaseball.com, The Syracuse Post-Standard, Scout.com and the official sites of the Brooklyn Aces and New York Islanders. His first book, The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews With Cult And Classic Video Game Developers was released in April 2018 and is chock full of interviews with legendary developers. His second book in the series, The Minds Behind Adventures Games, was released in December 2019. His third book, The Minds Behind Sports Games, was released in September 2020. His fourth book, The Minds Behind Shooter Games, was released in March 2021. The Minds Behind Sega Genesis Games and The Minds Behind PlayStation Games were released in 2022 and The Minds Behind PlayStation 2 was published in January 2023. Hickey is also a contracted comic book writer, currently penning his original series, "Condrey," as well as "The Job," "Brooklyn Bleeds" "Dem Gulls" and "KROOM" for Legacy Comix, where he serves as founder, owner and Editor-in-Chief. Hickey Jr. is also a voice actor, having starred in the 2018 indie hit and 2019 Switch, PS4 and Xbox One release, The Padre (also serving as English language Story Editor), from Shotgun With Glitters. The sequel, The Padre: One Shell Straight to Hell was released in February 2021- Hickey also served as a Story Editor and Lead Voiceover performer. He has also done narration and trailers for several other titles including The Kaiju Offensive, Relentless Rex and Roniu’s Tale. Hickey is also the lead voiceover performer on Mega Cat Studios’ upcoming title WrestleQuest, responsible for nearly 90 characters in the game, as well as Skybound's Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood, where he voices both Dracula and Renfield, as well as several other characters. He also stars in Ziggurat Interactive’s World Championship Boxing Manager 2, where he performs the VO of nearly every male character in the game. He also worked on the Atari VCS’s BPM Boy.

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