AEW Dark Results: Another Massive Card

Dark was as long as Dynamite this week, and it definitely dragged. The B-show has felt like a chore to watch for a while now. It’s a shame because the action is consistently good to great.

Matches:

Storm Thomas and Demetri Jackson vs. Best Friends: Trent and Chuck Taylor w/ “Freshly Squeezed” Orange Cassidy: Best Friends have found a new vicious streak and it shows in their new finish. Trent dropped Thomas on his head and tossed him to Taylor who did the same and made the cover for the pinfall victory.

Jessy Sorensen vs. Shawn Spears w/ Tully Blanchard: Spears: Spears made a quick buck with the Death Valley Driver for the win. After the match he loaded up the glove and gave Sorensen a shot to the back of his surgically repaired neck.

Red Velvet vs. Mel: Velvet couldn’t overcome the power disadvantage and got caught with a Chokeslam Spinebuster by Mel to put the match to bed.

D3 vs. “The Murderhawk Monster” Lance Archer w/ Jake “The Snake” Roberts: Archer followed his usual MO. A Blackout followed by the EBD Claw spelled the end of D3.

Luther and Serpentico vs. The Initiative: Brandon Cutler and “The Librarian” Peter Avalon w/ “The Librarian” Leva Bates: Avalon attempted to fight dirty and it backfired when he accidentally clocked Cutler with a hardcover book. Serpentico and Luther followed up with a Diving Meteora to score the win.

KiLynn King vs. “The Native Beast” Nyla Rose w/ Vickie Guerrero: Guerrero shoved King off the top rope and into the arms of the Native Beast who was waiting with a Beast Bomb for the win. 

Baron Black and Frank Stone vs. The Gunn Club: Billy and Austin Gunn: Austin caught Black with an Armdrag Neckbreaker now dubbed the Quickdrawto score the win.

Penelope Ford w/ “Superbad” Kip Sabian vs. Heather Monroe: Ford found the Fisherman’s Suplex and a Bridge for the picture-perfect pinfall victory.

Santana and Ortiz vs. The Metro Brothers: Chris and JC Metro: Santana and Ortiz came out on top in this battle of the boroughs. Ortiz hit a big Powerbomb that Santana followed up with a PK for the win. After the bell, Best Friends jumped PnP to get revenge for trashing Mrs. Baretta’s minivan and soaking their gear in the shower. 

“The Captain” Shawn Dean vs. “Absolute” Ricky Starks: Dean looked impressive as always, but fell to the Ro Sham Beaux.

Marko Stunt vs. Jake Hager: Stunt has proved he truly fears no man after this match. Unfortunately Hager hit a painful Uranagi and followed up with the Kata Gatame to put Mr. Funsize out.

“Superbad” Kip Sabian w/ Penelope Ford vs. Frankie Kazarian: The veteran showed Sabian a thing or two and ended the affair with a Reverse DDT.

“The Concrete Rose” Sonny Kiss and “The Bad Boy” Joey Janela vs. The Hybrid Two: Jack Evans and Angelico: Evans got the pin over Kiss with a Backslide into a Bridge of all things.