Like Pretty Deadly’s entrance into the NXT Tag Title gauntlet, my rankings are coming in late this week but better late than never. You’re likely celebrating one of the major holidays this week so I’ll save us all some time and jump right into the rankings!
Honorable Mention: Jordan Devlin, Wild Boar and Mark Andrews. We were taken to the back following Dragunov’s defense last week against Roderick Strong. After Strong said that he was special but they’ll see each other again and the results will be different the 2 shook hands. Devlin walked in and interrupted the show of respect telling Strong he was lucky he avoided facing The Irish Ace and telling Dragunov that when he said “empty arena” he didn’t mean tables and chairs and stairs, he meant that Dragunov couldn’t beat him for the title 1 on 1. Because he may have the title but Devlin is “The Irish Ace” This rematch should be very good whenever it happens and these 2 deserve a chance to have this match with a real live crowd. Andrews told us that we may not know he and Boar have a friendship that dates back 15 years and the only time they had friction was when Eddie Dennis was in Boar’s head and that in his culture friends stand united. Boar said that Dennis is scared of facing him 1 on 1 and when he gets his hands on him he’ll rip him from limb to limb. Andrews said you have to fight Dennis up here and pointed to his head. He’s never going to make it a fair fight and that’s why (they’re) (he and his chair) here to even the odds. Boar ended it with “Symbiosis! You are the hunted! Boar! Boar! Boar!” as Andrews thumped the chair in time with the chants. I just adore what a scary but somehow modern throwback Boar is. Somebody his size shouldn’t be nearly as frightening as he is but it works and I love it!
5. Sam Gradwell. The Thunderstorm and The Scum of The Earth went back and forth in a pre-recorded segment where Williams explained that Gradwell has the biggest mouth and he wanted to be the one to shut him up. Gradwell told us he grew up in the slums of Blackpool (though I doubt he was ever in the Combat Club) and he knows what it’s like to starve. He may not be able to bring Kenny to the streets but he can bring the streets to Kenny. Gradwell said he’s going to show the world that Williams is just a scared little boy begging for attention when they clash in a back alley brawl next week! Gradwell was shot on a street and Williams looked like he was in a dump and there were pictures interspliced of boarded up store fronts and trash filled alleys. I expect this to look like a regular street fight but part of me does miss the cinematic elements of the early pandemic wrestling shows and wishes they’d actually shoot this in an alleyway.
4. Isla Dawn. Meiko Satomura came out demanding her title back. Dawn came out with her same weird 1980s music video style bars on the top of the screen, music bed, transparent overlays and weird fades and offered to give the title back temporarily if she got a rematch under her own chaotic rules. Meiko said if she wanted a fight she just had to ask and Dawn spit black mist in her face and stated “(her) ascension will take place in (her) domain Meiko. In a world of darkness!” Once again, I don’t know what this will look like but like Gradwell v. Williams I could go for a cinematic match here. Something like a mix of the Hardy Compound and Boneyard matches.
3. Eliza Alexander. Xia Brookside’s heavy made her in-ring debut and won with an absolutely brutal looking thunderous running knee to the side of Angel Hayze’s head. I was a bit surprised that Alexander took a bit of offense in this match but she did pull Hayes by the hair and (apparently) take a chunk out and land a big lariat of her own. We got a little backstory too as commentary told us Alexander grew up a fan of Xia’s father and that she got into fights growing up before beginning to train at Robbie’s school at the age of 13. It’s too early to have a real opinion on her but that knee looked incredible!
2. Dave Mastiff & Jack Starz. You already know anything that further divides Gallus is going to rank highly with me and that’s what this pairing helped do tonight. There was a fun series where Mastiff body slammed Joe Coffey, hit him with a back senton and tagged in Starz who vaulted in with a crossbody for 2. Starz later hit a fun backdrop on the much larger Mark Coffey and tagged in Mastiff. Joe Coffey blind tagged himself in as Mark hit the ropes and hit a falling forearm but the ref couldn’t count the fall since Joe was legal. The confusion allowed Mastiff to catch Joe going for a rolling elbow and hit his standing Green Bay Plunge followed by a powerbomb from Starz to give Mastiff and Starz the victory. After the match the Coffey brothers were arguing in the ring and Wolfgang came out to try to cool them down but Joe walked off. Later we heard Gallus arguing more in their locker room and we see Joe storm out. As much as I dislike Gallus I’m very interested in seeing the Liam v. Noel Gallagher Celebrity Death Match tribute clash between the Coffey boys. Maybe we even get Wolfgang as a special referee?
1. Teoman. After Raja and Dempsey got singles victories recently but Teoman lost to Nathan Frazer he was out to show he could still hold his own and that he did with a win over A-Kid. Kid worked the leg during the match while Teoman targeted the neck. Kid had a nice sequence of his own turning a sleeper into a guillotine without ever touching the floor but Teoman escaped. The patriarch of Die Famile then landed a gnarly looking move I’ve never seen before when he underhooked the far arm and grabbed the near leg of A-Kid and slammed the back of A-Kid’s neck into his knee. He followed up with a running forearm for just 2. He tried a handspring off the ropes but A-Kid caught him in a sleeper which Teoman was able to escape by getting to the ropes. Teoman tried a sliding forearm outside to Kid against the stairs but A-Kid moved and sent Teoman crashing into them instead. As Dempsey and Raja helped Teoman up to beat the count A-Kid flew off the top corner with a moonsault. Teoman avoided it leaving the other 2 on the receiving end and he nailed A-Kid with a backbreaker on the apron and a flipping inverted DDT inside for the 3! Where does Die Famile go from here? I guess time will tell.
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