I spent my Friday night watching the good folks at Outlaw Pro Wrestling put on a fun cross-promoted show with the N.W.A. that featured Homicide, Dirty Dango, Mike Knox, Crowbar, The Mane Event, Melina and more! Crowbar is on his PCO game lately and I just needed to find a way to mention that. Encore Moore and Jaden Valo had a blast of a match in the 4th of their best of 5 series to tie things up and Mane Event was as awesome as always in what was just a great night top to bottom! But after that was done I got home and watched…the inside of my eyelids. But eventually I watched Rampage too so here’s my rankings of that for this week!
Honorable Mention: Ortiz. The man Eddie Kingston dubbed “Monkey” cut a pre-taped promo hyping up his hair v. hair match with Jericho at Road Rager next week. He said “Maybe I have to become a piece of sh*t (I censored it here but they didn’t on the show, because I write family friendly rants!) like you you to take you out.” He added that Jericho can’t be a rockstar without his hair. That last line was really good logic behind this whole thing and makes me wish there was a little more story to the hair v. hair stipulation.
5. Hookhausen. Danhausen drove up to the interview in a John Deere Gator, explaining that he and Hook used their PPV winnings to purchase some new rides, “Maybe PT Cruisers or Corvettes or something” Hook is not driving himself insane wishing he could touch your face. But he is driving a camo painted Honda Pioneer which he revealed when he pulled up after Danhausen and peered over his glasses at Lexy Nair. This duo is just plain fun and while this wasn’t one of their best segments (the camo pattern doesn’t really go with the Hook aesthetic) it made me even more excited for Danhausen to eventually get the PT Cruiser Dwayne was supposed to give him ages ago. If they ever win tag gold that needs to be how Danhausen shows up to the next event. Or even better, have Hook reveal it!
4. Eddie Kingston. Last week I mentioned sweating when I heard The Young Bucks v. Lucha Bros. announced for Rampage. When Kingston v. Hager was announced for this week I had the opposite reaction. I put my feet up and breathed a sigh of relief. I knee there wasn’t going to be a full pages of notes taken for this match just some hard hits and they delivered just that. Kingston reddened Hager’s chest with a series of chops throughout the match. Aside from the brawling Hager hit a Hager Bomb for 2. Eddie followed with exploder and saito Suplexes for 2. Hager got Kingston in an ankle lock but Kingston got to the ropes on his 2nd attempt after being pulled back to the middle to break it. Eddie then followed up with 2 spinning back fists and a win over the biggest member of The Jericho Appreciation Society.
3. Satnam Singh and Jay Lethal. Singh did 2 moves during the match and 1 move after which already makes him a better Indian giant than Great Khali. He did the Paul Wight “Shhhhhh” chops to one of the local talents in the corner and then hit a surprisingly athletic running crossbody to both opponents before holding them up so Lethal could hit a double Lethal Injection for the win over Davey Vega and Matt Fitchett. After the match Singh hit a twisting Razor’s Edge to Fitchett that sent him plummeting about 4 stories off Singh’s shoulders to the mat. This was very short and I’m sure he has a long way to go to have competent, competitive singles matches but Singh did at least show enough athleticism for me to think he could become better than most of the failed giants we’ve seen various promotions try to push over the years. Taz had a hilarious line on commentary to the effect of “This guy was 5’9 at 9 years old. I’m still not 5’9 as a grown ass man. Especially after the piledriver in 95!”
2. Kris Statlander. The galaxy’s former favorite alien took on former friend turned rival Red Velvet in yet another awesome Statlander match on Rampage. Red Velvet is quickly becoming my favorite wrestler who I don’t think is actually very good. I’ve said it before but she’s come a long way and is getting close to being good but her downfall is still largely how ambitious she is in the ring and how those moves can look a little sloppy or mistined. Tonight that move was a 360 cutter off the middle rope that she had to pause on for a second while she waited for Statlander to get close enough. But I really don’t want to sound too harsh, I’d much rather somebody trying to get better and do more than taking the Hager route of just doing less. The story here was Statlander being the power house and seeing everything Velvet had for her coming. It started when Statlander did an Orton-like spinning powerslam on the floor to an attacking Velvet before the bell even rung. She then did a gorilla press slam to the apron. There was a nice sequence where Velvet tried a Victory roll for 2, Statlander then back rolled her for 1 and without breaking the hold hit a German suplex on Velvet. Kris followed up with a fisherman’s driver for 2. Statlander finally got the win when she caught a corkscrew kick and landed a Friday Night Fever for 3. After the match Kiera Hogan jumped Stat and Jade Cargill hit her with a pump kick outside. Anna Jay ran down and locked Hogan in a Queen Slayer choke but Velvet jumped her and The Baddies were standing tall. Athena tried to come down but was literally caught and held back by the officials when she tried.
1. Trent Beretta and FTR. The F in FTR stood for friends tonight as one half of the Best Friends formed an unlikely trio with Dax and Cash to combat the invading United Empire of Will Ospreay and Aussie Open. This was every bit as wild as you’d expect a match with these trios to be with the crowd split shouting dueling chants of “Let’s go Ospreay!” and “FTR!” Early on Trent hit a tornado DDT to Ospreay and then an asai moonsault to the self-proclaimed “Billy G.O.A.T.” on the floor. Comnentary sold Trent tweaking his ankle on the move and back in the ring Ospreay pulled a distracted Trent off the top sending him crashing back first into the corner. The United Empire then worked over Beretta before Trent was able to duck a dropkick from Kyle Fletcher in the corner and get a hot tag to Dax. Dax cleaned house and hit 3 German suplexes on Fletcher followed by a tag to Cash, a powerbomb from Cash, a 4th German to Fletcher and a jackknife cover from Cash for just 2. United Empire took control back and nearly ended Cash when Mark Davis sent Cash off his shoulders into a knee from Fletcher, then held him up on his shoulder so Fletcher could hit a 2nd rope cutter and then Ospreay followed those moves up woth a 450 but Trent broke up the pin. Trent tried for another tornado DDT to Ospreay but Will threw him off. As Ospreay went to bounce off the ropes he knocked Dax off the apron to the floor and decided to vault on to FTR on the floor. Back inside Trent and Fletcher exchanged roll-up attempts but Trent was eventuallt able to nail the Strong 0 for the win. This was a blast of a match but I was a little confused by the finish. I thought for sure Trent was taking the fall to Ospreay to further establish Ospreay with the American audience but instead they protected Ospreay a bit by keeping him away from the final fall. I guess Aussie Open isn’t working Forbidden Door in any serious capacity and was more a place holder for Jeff Cobb and Great-O-Khan. But Trent winning makes me think he’s on the show too. Do we get Trent and Ospreay 1 on 1? Do he and Ospreay join FTR, Cobb and O-Khan in a trios match? I was really hoping Ospreay would be the New Japan representative in the All Atlantic Title match but we’ll see.
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