Honorable Mention: Ortiz. He said he messed up when he let his emotions get the better of him but he’ll always be by Eddie’s side. He won’t let him be a martyr for the House of Black though and if the only way he can get Eddie to understand he stands with him is to stand across from him so be it. This story still has a lot of holes but Ortiz v. Kingston should be a good match. This seems to be a common thread in AEW lately; matches I want to see but in spite of the stories and not because of them. Tony Khan knows how to book a good card of matches but I really wish he’d get some help with the storytelling aspect of these shows.
5. Mogul Affiliates. Dustin Rhodes was being interviewed in a warehouse where he said he’s not afraid of Swerve or his goons because there’s nothing they can put him through he hasn’t already been through. He’s been doing this longer than Swerve’s been alive (which according to wikipedia is literally true) and he won’t let him disrespect his family’s legacy. He wants Swerves blood and his soul and he wants it now. Mogul Affiliates walked up and while the logic of them being there at this warehouse mid-promo as he looked right in their direction might be lacking what foowed was done well. The Affiliates attacked Dustin and Trench took the camera as Parker ran Dustin into a wooden pallet. Trench panned up to reveal Swerve standing over him who told Dustin it’s on next week and wished him a “Happy Black History Month!” Swerve being a glorified comic book villain is something I can really get behind even if it is a bit over the top.
4. Ruby Soho. Soho made quick work of Marina Shafir with Destination Unkown. Then Saraya and Toni Storm came out with Saray claiming they just wanted to talk. Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter instead jumped them on the ramp as Soho looked conflicted. Saray’s mic work has been pretty awful in this feud and them painting L’s on people is so stupid. But I’m still excited for the culminating match and won’t stop wishing for the first ever women’s Blood and Guts match.
3. “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry. He beat Ryan Nemeth in a quick but action packed sprint that saw him his a tope suicida out of the gate and then a Sliced Bread #2 followed by a sliding elbow to the back of the head for the win. The new finisher is cool because he can easily do it to anyone which will come in handy because while he motioned for a belt after the match and commentary rattled off the singles champions he could target he was instead confronted by one third of the ROH Six Man Tag Champs Brian Cage who made a throat slash gesture. Perry seemed interested.
2. Q and Murr. Two thirds of the current Impractical Jokers crew came out taunting Jericho about his small bat and getting a “small bat” chant going. They offered to give his small bat back but Jericho said he might have a small bat but he has huge balls (Can we get Jericho & Miz as a tag team?) and that we could just take the bat back but they’d rather do it for him. This brought out the J.A.S. who had a fairly soft beat down of the Jokers but then powerbombed Murr through Q instantly elevating The Jokers to a celebrity wrestling tier somewhere under Logan Paul, Pat McAfee and Bad Bunny but over Action Bronson. Maybe just a rung under Paul Walter Hauser and Rick Ross. Man we really are living in the golden era of celebrity wrestling involvement.
1. Orange Cassidy. Cassidy beat Lee Moriarty or as Danhausen called him in the pre-match video segment “Lee Mortuary” to retain his All Atlantic Championship in the main event. The story here was Moriarty working over Cassidy’s arm. At one point Stokely Hathaway went to hit Cassidy with a cast he had on his arm but Danhausen stopped him and tried for his crotch punch but Stoke blocked it with the cast. Cassidy entually rolled up Moriarty during a Border City Stretch attempt for the win. After the match the signature Tony Khan cluster happened when Jarrett, Singh and Lethal took out Cassidy, Danhausen and The Best Friends with the Golden Globe and then threatened Cassidy with the guitar before The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn ran them off. Billy Gunn’s sons stink and shouldn’t have gotten the titles but Acclaimed and Billy vs. The Low Impact Players could be fun. Maybe even a 3 way trios match to crown new #1 contenders for those titles with those two teams and Cassidy & The Best Friends.
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