I’m probably just in a good mood because I still have a week off from work ahead of me and maybe my judgment is clouded being a big fan of most of the talent on the show. It could also be that I’m a sucker for weapons and story progression. But I actually enjoyed Rampage top to bottom for the first time in a while tonight and have very few complaints. So let’s get to ranking!
Honorable Mention: The QTV crew and RJ City. QTV was back and we saw a clip of Hobbs getting a “Monster” car that they joked was obtained because “Wardlow didn’t freeze his credit cards” The crew briefed QT on the Ring of Honor Champion Lucha Bros prior to their match on Battle of the Belts later tonight. Solo asked if QT ever wrestled there and Marshall said he likes to compartmentalize that part of his life. This made me chuckle because I was recently looking at my shirt from 2013’s Supercard of Honor VII which I attended and I had no recollection of QT being on the show but apparently he was. Harley Cameron told QT to break a leg and he said “What am I, Dante Martin?” which made the whole crew obnoxiously laugh. That was a low blow after the brutal injury Martin suffered in the ladder match at Supercard but it did make me laugh. I hate how much I enjoy this gimmick. There’s a lot of potential here and I wish this could have been incorporated into the Sammy/Kingston issues or the post “Brawl Out” content despite knowing they’d never want to do that on TV. The greatest thing in wrestling RJ City, a man way too funny and entertaining for this business, who introduced himself a professional mediator for Jade Cargill and Taya Valkyrie. City didn’t want to see this go to court. Jade said she didn’t have time for this because of her match later tonight so RJ looked to speed things up by asking Taya how it felt being a criminal. Taya said the move has been used by living legends for decades and herself for years. So Jade should show her respect. Sterling said he’d see her in court as RJ City admitted this wasn’t working and they’d have to try another time. The segment was fine but I’m fully in favor of anything that gets RJ on TV more.
5. Swerve Strickland. Swerve said just because they lost soldiers doesn’t mean they lost the war. Mergers happen. And he got 51% of…you’ll find out later tonight. I took this as a shot at WWE which makes Caster’s lack of one make a little more sense. The reveal later on of it being The Embassy means Swerve doesn’t just have beef with the AEW roster. He has most of the beef on the AEW roster. Attacking Darby felt a bit random despite them having history before AEW but the potential of a Keith Lee/Darby Allin team, even if just for 1 night is so damn fun that I’ll overlook any logical flaw getting there. Lee weaponizing Darby and yeeting him into a crowd of people 50 yards away is a moment I NEED. They announced Swerve v. Darby for this Wednesday which should be great but does cause a booking conundrum for me because Darby shouldln’t be losing as we build towards the presumed 4 pillars title match but Swerve also shouldn’t be taking a loss right now in my opinion, especially now that he has The Embassy in his corner and with Keith Lee being busy with the Jericho match on the same show. Though I suppose they could have Lee even the odds and help Darby win then have The Embassy/Mogul Affiliates return the favor and cost him the Jericho match. Actually, typing that out that’s how I’m guessing it goes. The pairing of Swerve and Nana could give us some comedy gold too so I hope this doesn’t mean Nana goes away.
4. The Acclaimed. “Daddy Magic” Matt Menard and “Cool Hand Ang” Angelo Parker came out with Jake Hager to team with The Acclaimed. Menard’s “Do you wanna know what makes Daddy Magic’s nipples hard?!” catchphrase is way more over than it should be and always makes me laugh. Caster took shots at Twitter verification and MTG but shockingly nothing at Vince or WWE for the second straight show. The unlikely foursome took on LSG, Bobby Orlando and The Infantry. LSG and Bowens started things off which was fun for me because I saw both of these guys wrestle for WrestlePro before the pandemic started so it’s cool to see them clashing on national TV. Caster shook off a 4 way scissor attempt to scissor with Bowens exclusively. Bowens hit an Arrival and Caster hit a Mic Drop for a quick win for the group. After the match Hager took out Billy Gunn and Menard and Parker jumped The Acclaimed as commentary questioned if all the recruiting was just a ploy to get them to let their guard down. Personally I think that idea would be very dumb but a more sensibly dumb justification would be them being mad they were essentially ignored by The Acclaimed all match and not allowed to scissor.
3. Julia Hart. We got a video package hyping up tonight’s Rampage main event between Anna Jay.A.S. and Julia Hart where Jay repeated almost word for word her promo from last week and Hart remindes us of her favorite rule “The House always wins” Jay attacked the woman she dubbed a “Spooky Bitch” before the bell even rang. They brawled around ringside as Excalibur said we haven’t seen Jay wrestle on TV since the street fight in January. Jim Ross mentioned them being 2 home grown AEW stars which is a cool note. Jay swung Hart into the barricade outside. In yet another picture-in-picture moment Jay stretched Hart back first around the ringpost. Hart gained control as the crowd chanted “Let’s go Spooky!” which made me grin. She hit a standing moonsault for 2 but Anna Jay and tried for a handspring but was caught with a less than clean looking Gory Bomb from Jay for a near-fall. They climbed the ropes and Julia hit a nice spider belly-to-belly suplex and then a moonsault for 2. Jay countered Hartless into a roll-up for 2. Julia turned a Queenslayer into a back roll for a 2 of her own. Jay tried to lock it in again but they tumbled through the ropes to the outside. Anna got back in and Hart tossed a chair into the ring but with the ref distracted misted Jay and cradled her for the 3 count. The pairing in this match was a bit odd because both women are aligned with seemingly heel factions despite the groups loosely feuding. It had it’s moments where it was a little clunky but considering they’re both homegrown talents and their combined age (45) is 7 years younger than Chris Jericho they did a really solid job. Anna Jay.A.S. has quietly become one of their better prospects in the women’s division and once the current Outcasts story is over I’d like to see both her and Hart get some time with the more established ex-WWE names.
2. Hook. Our night opened with Hook’s music as the 25-0 “Cold hearted handsome devil” Hook gave Ethan Page a rematch from Hook’s victory on Dynamite but this time under FTW rules which are anything goes and falls count anywhere. Page tried to get the jump on Hook at ringside but Hook quickly regained control and they fought up into the crowd. Hook smashed Page with a drink. Hook sat Page in a seat in the crowd and hit him with 10 crossface shots as the fans counted along. Page hit him in the gut with a pipe but when he tried to crack him across the head Hook ducked and nailed him with a trash can instead. In the picture-in-picture a follow up shot with the can was only good enough for a 2 count. “All Ego” ate a T-bone suplex on the floor at ringside. An Ego’s Edge attempt was avoided and Page escaped a T-bone suplex attempt to powerslam Hook through the timekeeper’s table for 2. Back in the ring Hook avoided a chair shot from Page which caused the chair to bounce off the ropes and hit Page in the face. Hook followed up immediately with a Twist of Fate for 2. Jim Ross thought it looked more like a DDT but it didn’t, at all. As Page tried to pick Hook up for an Ego’s Edge through a table in the corner of the ring Hook floated over and locked in a Redrum for the tap out victory. After the bell he ensured Chekov’s table was followed; sending Page through the table with a T-bone suplex. At over 9 minutes this was Hook’s longest televised match of his career and with all the plunder it was a really strong opener to Rampage. During the match we saw Matt Hardy and Isaiah Kassidy watching backstage. Scorpio Sky tweeted a picture of the Men of the Year last week and I wouldn’t be opposed to a reunion because as good as both he and Page are at taking losses both should be on my TV more often.
1. Darby Allin. Lee Moriarty faced Darby Allin who commentary told us was hit by a car yesterday while skateboarding but still cleared to compete tonight. I’d imagine he was hit while skating right towards a curb with no trick in mind. Tony Schiavone mentioned that Darby was an accomplished amatuer wrestler growing up. I don’t remember the last time that was mentioned, if ever, but it is a good addition to his character to lend credibility when he’s doing moves that aren’t him hurling himself at 100 miles per hour. We saw Jungle Boy and Sammy Guevara with Tay Melo both watching separately in the back actually sitting down facing the TVs which is a welcome change for pro wrestling. Darby avoided a running Moriarty causing him to crotch himself on the barricade but as he rolled Lee into the ring Big Bill flattened Darby with an awesome sounding and looking big boot on the floor. Darby had a uniqe spot in picture-in-picture where he kicked the leg out from an incoming Moriarty and then skinned the cat from inside the ring to the apron and choked Lee against the ropes. As he went to follow up Big Bill hit him which caused the ref to be distracted while Moriarty hit Darby with his skateboard. Darby hit a shotgun dropkick into the corner and tried to climb the ropes but Big Bill distracted Darby while Lee swept out his legs causing Darby to fall back first into the ropes. Lee held Darby up in a brainbuster like position but threw him gut first on to the ropes and followed with a running boot to the side of the head. Moriarty then hit a middle rope superplex but when he went to follow up Darby hooked the legs for 2. Lee avoided a Scorpion Death Drop. Darby hit a Code Red on Lee then a low-pe suicida on to Big Bill before a Coffin Drop sealed the win. Darby is known for his risk taking but there are little things he does that make him great too like having the logic to take out Bill before hitting his finisher or hitting the corner back first after commentary told us he had road rash on his back from being hit by a car. He’s far from just a “spot monkey” But as he went up the ramp Swerve came out and extended a hand only for Brian Cage to come out and F5 Darby as Prince Nana shook Swerve’s hand to signify the merger between The Embassy and Mogul Affiliates.
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