With the NBA playoffs starting up Rampage will likely be moving all over like a skinny indie wrestler trying to make a name for himself in these next few weeks. But on tonight’s show they announced Vikingo v. Dralistico for next week’s Rampage so for the first time in ages I’m actually excited to seek out this show next week! Apparently it’s on Saturday night but if that match was on a Thursday at 4 a.m. I’d still go back and watch it. Expect me to eschew my usual move heavy review for that as I just soak in all that flippy goodness in real time! But before we get there we had tonight’s Rampage which, well, was a mixed bag to say the least. But I always say the most so let’s get to ranking it.
Honorable Mention: Aussie Open and FTR. Mark Davis and Kyle Fletcher had a solid opener against The Best Friends but not a ton to note here and it didn’t seem to move any stories forward. After a back and forth Best Friends hit a stacked superplex off each other’s shoulders and then a Doomsday knee for 2. Mark Davis hit a nasty deadlift spike piledriver on Trent and then they hit a Coriolis for the win. Cash Wheeler revealed FTR is sticking around for another 4 years.
5. The J.A.S. had a cypher in the ring and Angelo Parker was shockingly on beat for a heel doing a rap segment. Daddy Magic’s nipples and Jake Hager’s hat both got incouded in the lines. This brought out the Acclaimed who ditched the rap and went straight for the J.A.S. The Acclaimed grabbed Menard and Billy Gunn had a pair of scissors as they teased cutting Daddy Magic’s nipple off before Parker and Hager saved him. They then challenged the J.A.S. for a match on Dynamite. Cutting Daddy Magic’s nipple off might actually be enough to turn fans on The Acclaimed so I’m glad he escaped with both in tact regardless of their firmness. Menard has really become a lower card gem for AEW and I’m glad he and Parker are getting some shine as comedic heels. Even Hager was enjoyable in this segment.
4. Mark Briscoe, Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal, Jeff Jarrett and Satnam Singh. Earlier in the show we saw Sonjay Dutt in the back with his crew talking to Mark Briscoe. He tried to convince Mark that they all have a connection; Jay and he go back, Satnam and Mark both grew up on farms, Jeff’s also a country boy. Sonjay gives him a shirt that has his face on it too but Mark throws it against a locker. Dutt is great in this role and he, Jarrett and Mark are a fun grouping. The unlikely foursome took on Angelico, Serpentico, Manscout Jake Manning and my least favorite wrestler to have ever stepped in a ring; Luther. After some shenanigans earlier in the match that Mark was not a fan of they won when Mark hit a Froggy Bow (which I only discovered is Bow and not Mo after a google search but makes so much more sense). Briscoe wanted no part of celebrating after the match though. The story here seems to be that Mark likes Jay but not Jay’s associates and that is an interesting angle I can’t recall ever seeing before so I’m curious to see if it leads to Mark & Jay teaming against Jarrett and Sting, Mark against Jay in singles action or if Mark finds partners of his own, likely the Lucha Brothers, for a 6 man tag?
3. Jungle Boy. In the most exciting AEW return this week the triple box was back for our main event of Shawn Spears v. Jungle Boy. Spears’ history with MJF was mentioned but Spears says they no longer talk but he doesn’t have a problem with MJF…yet. But he is back after having his baby boy and gunning for the same thing Jack is. Darby and Sammy were shown at points watching in the back. They brawled around the outside early in the match. Spears hit a nice slingshot into a rope hung DDT for 2. Jack turned a C4 attempt into a roll-up for 2. Perry countered a cradle attempt into a pin of his own for the victory. The 2 shook hands after the match and Spears gestured to Jungle Boy’s waist as if he should go get that title. This was a fine showcase for Jungle Boy and helped add to the story of the 3 other pillars getting wins to further their cases for the MJF match.
2. The Hardys, Isiah Kassidy and Hook. Jeff talked about climbing out of his personal hell between his conviction and eye surgery. Matt Hardy announces The Hardys, Isiah Kassidy & Hook v. The Firm of Ethan Page, Big Bill, Lee Moriarty and Stokely Hathaway to free Matt and Private Party from their contracts to The Firm. And that will happen at the Hardy Compound! I constantly feel conflicted about Jeff being on my TV. He’s one of my all time favorites but after getting yet another DUI less than a year ago and getting it while his license was already suspended I can’t help but feel like there will be blood on everyone’s hands if he does eventually kill himself or somebody else with his decisions. Until that happens though I’ll be watching through my fingers with cautious optimism hoping the sixth (or seventh? Where are we now?) time is the charm for Jeff. The announcement of it happening at the Hardy Compound was by far the most exciting part though because those shenanigans are always fun and I think the Firm, especially Hathaway, will be gold in this more comedic setting. Plus it’s a visual difference which I love and it gives them the chance for Jeff to do the high risk stuff he’s known for in a hopefully much more controlled, safe environment that leaves him in less pain and with less desire to self-medicate.
1. Taya Valkyrie. The unofficial #1 Contender to the TBS Championship took on Emi Sakura. Taya broke a full nelson which made me assume we see her break the hold for Jaded when she eventually meets Cargill. She tried for a Road to Valhalla but was unsuccessful as Jade and Grey came down the ramp. Things picked up when Sakura took advantage of Valkyrie being distracted on the floor and sent her into the steps and sandwiching her against the stairs with a crossbody. Back inside Taya hit a spear and Road to Valhalla for the win. Jade took her shoes off but Grey held her back and ran in the ring herself only to eat a Road to Valhalla of her own. Jade got in and exhanged blows with Taya and was held in the Road to Valhalla before Grey broke it up. Jade was able to get back on top and hit a Jaded and cover Valkyrie for a mock 3 count from the crowd. Valkyrie has grown on me and I’m looking forward to this clash more than I expected to. It’s been a simple build but sometimes simple is good.
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