Review Fix Exclusive: Monica Bauer Talks ‘The Year I Was Gifted’

Review Fix chats with playwright and performer Monica Bauer, who discusses “The Year I Was Gifted,” her upcoming production at Stage Left Studios in Manhattan, set for an eight-week engagement beginning February 7. Breaking down her creative process behind the production, Bauer shares the moments that led to the birth of the piece.

Review Fix: When did you decide to write this production, when was “the moment”?

Monica Bauer: After we came back from the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe, I kept coming back to the question I was most asked in Edinburgh: why was a straight woman writing about gay characters? This brought me back to the time in my life where I met my first openly gay friend. Up to that point, I had shied away from writing autobiographical work, but this kept calling to me. People who knew I’d had a ridiculous life kept asking me to write some form of autobiography, but I never wanted to write a “poor me” or even a “lucky me” story. But once I started connecting everything through this lens of my first gay friend, and realized I could write about that with a full and open heart, then I started to write Gifted.

Review Fix: What was the writing process like?

Bauer: First, I wrote it out as a narrative, like an essay. I’d never done that before, but since it was autobiographical, it seemed the best way to start. I desperately wanted to do a Spalding Gray or Mike Daisey sort of thing, with me sitting behind a desk. But everyone I talked to shouted “For God’s sake, NOOOOO. You have to perform it. And it has to be a real play.” I began to figure out how to Show instead of just Tell, by creating a character for Present Day Monica, and for Young Monica. That was the key that allowed me to write this as a play. I just whacked away at it until I had a first draft, and then did a staged reading for friends in Connecticut. Revised after that. Then did four shows in the UK, at the Dukebox Theater in Brighton, during their Fringe Festival. Revised after that. Revised after doing four shows at 59e59’s East to Edinburgh Festival in July. Then opened in Edinburgh Fringe in August, and revised between Tech there and my first performance. Came back to New York and did several performances at Stage Left Studio’s Women at Work festival in September. Revised between the first and second performances there! And now, the show is set. So my writing process is all about getting the show up in front of audiences, and then revising.

Review Fix: Why are these topics important to you?

Bauer: Some imagine that “gifted” means “your life is going to be easy,” but that’s not true at all. It means you are going to have to struggle like crazy to figure out how your gift fits, how you can find your tribe. We are social animals, we need to belong. That’s a universal need, but one I felt so keenly growing up that I felt like a turtle on its back, trying to right herself by waving those little legs! Just about everybody I meet in New York is gifted, and the worst thing is to try and go it alone. This play is about finding your tribe, and I wish I had seen something like it when I was younger; it might have saved me some grief!

Review Fix: How did Bill Sherwood influence you?

Bauer: I was a scholarship kid from Nebraska at the Interlochen Arts Academy, in so far over my head I couldn’t even touch bottom with my toes. Bill was a sophisticated senior, I was a sophomore, the youngest Composition Major, and his opposite in so many ways. Yet he reached down to me and pulled me up, made me his friend, gave me advice. And I lost track of him entirely afterwards. It was a shock to find he had died of Aids in 1990, and when I saw his only film, “Parting Glances,” for the first time while writing Gifted, it was like getting him back.

Review Fix: How do you want this production to affect people?

Bauer: I want people to call up old friends they haven’t seen in years and say “I want to thank you for being there for me.” I want young artists to feel how we are all connected, and mature artists to reconnect with the passions of their youth. I want everybody to think of ways they could be a gift to others. I want everybody to think again about making their political stands public with more than just a nod or a donation. I want them to text their friends in the lobby immediately after the show and tell them they must see this!

Review Fix: How difficult is it to play several people at once?

Bauer: I hate the kinds of solo shows where there is a lot of fuss about transforming from one character to the next. I’m a playwright, primarily, so my instincts are not to show off as a performer. I just wanted to tell the story in the most effective, theatrical way possible. That meant there had to be more than just me on the stage, and in particular, there had to be Bill Sherwood. I had no idea how I would become Bill; but if the writing is truthful, then the character is alive. After a while, Bill just showed up, comfortable on stage, in command of his own wit and style. There are several other people in the story who show up for a sentence or a brief scene, and they all seemed comfortable on stage with me, too. It all came easily, flowing, as soon as I stopped worrying about it.

Review Fix: What did you learn about yourself while writing this?

Bauer: In the middle writing it, I started to realize I was telling myself something I needed to remember; that art is not a competition for money, fame, fortune, or any external reward. It’s about fulfilling your place within the tribe. It’s about making the kind of art that only you can make, and being true to your conscience. It’s so easy to get lost in the trap of measuring yourself against other people, especially in New York. Very easy to get discouraged, and then sad, and then bitchy. Even “successful” people do this. But Gifted has given me a gift of perspective. And every night, I give Bill Sherwood a gift, by bringing him back to life, which gives me more pleasure than I can express, because I never told him when he was alive how much he meant to me.

Review Fix: How do you think it’ll help you moving forward?

Bauer: I don’t even think in terms of “moving forward” any more. I had an Off Broadway production of another play, didn’t change my life magically. I had performances in the UK, and the next morning the world had not changed, either. I hope more people see my work, because my job is to tell stories, and you can’t do that without an audience. I hope the audience grows over the run at Stage Left.