TNA Impact Wrestling Coverage: A Marriage, an A-Hole and Abyss, Sans Mask

A ton of hiccups and sloppy wrestling created a mixed bag of TNA goodness this week on Impact Wrestling.

There were a few bright spots though: Eric Young and ODB are adorable. Seeing them get a bigger role on the show was essentially the only memorable part of this week’s Impact.

Well, that and Abyss, looking like Penn Jillette or a better looking Brother Love/ Jim Neidhart, in a tuxedo, as “Abyss’ brother.” Should be interesting to see where that goes.

In other news, Sting has reverted back to his crazy-self- with essentially zero warning. Last week he was weird, now he’s raised the level to guano-esque levels.

The A.J. Styles/Christopher Daniels/Frank Kazarian angle is also so boring that old ladies playing bingo in a moth ball-infested gym are more entertaining. Mr. Anderson’s involvement in the feud can only be a good thing. Simply put, Anderson is one of the best all-around performers in the company and it’s about time they get him back in the mix.

Better him on TV than the greener than goose droppings Garett Bischoff, right? Right?

Aside from that, the wrestling in this week’s Impact was minimal and filled with the customary TNA swerve nonsense. It just makes you wonder how little action wrestling they’d have on the show if it didn’t “matter.”

Matches:

Eric Young and ODB vs. TNA Knockout Tag Team Champions Gail Kim and Madison Rayne:Bronco-busters, clotheslines and shoulder blocks galore from ODB early on made this an interesting encounter. Rayne tried to change the tide, but ODB offered some strange counters. Kim and Rayne used interference and fast-tags well however, which begged for a Young hot tag. Once Young got in the ring, a double airplane spin got the crowd going. ODB eliminated Rayne on the outside soon after, while Young got pissed and took his pants off. Rayne, who reversed an Irish whip from ODB and sent her into the ring stairs, hit Young in the back with the Knockouts title. Strangely enough, Young then fell on top of Kim while in his short shorts and get the three count to win the titles. After the match, he proposed to ODB. He said yes. Don’t ask.

TNA X-Division Champion Austin Aries vs. Zema Ion: This could have been the best match of the night by far. These guys put their bodies on the line with several high-risk moves early on. At times, it felt like the entire match was spent either in a counter or on the top rope. That was until it all went to crap when Ion went for his can of hair spray. Trying to spray Aries, the champ countered and sprayed him in the eyes instead. One problem- the referee caught him and disqualified him for it.

Bully Ray vs. TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode: Another wasted no-contest/disqualification. Bully Ray was ironically the face in this encounter. Roode wasn’t eager to lock up originally, but was technically solid when the match got started. Ray was unable to mount any real offense, but Roode never dominated either. Ray fully turned the tide with a Sambo Suplex and just when you thought he’d nail Roode with a Big Boot, Roode nailed the spear and then grabbed Ray’s chain. But Ray hit the Big Boot and grabbed the chain himself. Before he could do any damage, James Storm stormed the ring and delivered his “Last Call” Super Kick.

Crimson and Matt Morgan vs. TNA TV Champion Robbie E and Rob Terry: A decent tag match between two different teams. Terry and E have a good balance of power and speed, but the towering faces of Morgan and Crimson were too much. Crimson was in the ring most of the match and in spite of hitting a few high-impact moves, he was forced to tag in Morgan to save the match. But once Morgan hit the “Carbon Footprint,” Crimson tagged himself back in for the sneaky win.

Kurt Angle and Gunner vs. Garett Bischoff and Jeff Hardy: Coolest part of this match was Hardy’s facepaint. Weirdly, Bischoff spent virtually the entire match waiting for a tag, while Hardy took a beating from Gunner and Angle. Once Bischoff got in, one thing became painfully obvious- he is still green. He hit a few clothelines an a variation of the stunner, but he needs a lot more polish. After a double clothesline from Bischoff, Hardy hit the Swanton Bomb for the win.