A Lack of ‘Magnetism’

Episode Commentary: “Magnetism”

Does it strike you as strange to see granny spray painting “F.U.” on a wall? What about a nun jumping off the roof of a building? Welcome to the fictional place of Unionville, Colorado, where people regardless of social norms are living out their dreams. This is the set-up for episode three of “Warehouse 13” where the premise outshines the lead actors.

“All things have a magnetic context” – prophetic words from Artie Nielson (Saul Rubinek, “Blind Justice”). As the episode unfolds, we see how the cast does their best to make the opposite true. Warehouse 13 is the place where otherworldly artifacts are kept. Two government agents, Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock, “Bones”) and Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly, “Vanished”) are the ones who collect these items. Artie is the one who sends them out on assignment. Think Charlie of “Charlie’s Angels” without the charisma and playful voice – and screen time, dull, languishing screen time.

It isn’t entirely Rubinek’s fault though. He is miscast here as the man who literally holds the keys to the most infamous artifacts in history, that at times have been used for nefarious purposes. The locked up items manifest energy when negative emotions are near them. When Pete and Myka are bickering like two infants over who should be in charge when they are out on assignments, the objects begin to glow and shake violently. You think to yourself, “now something interesting is going to happen “– but no. Instead ,they are doused with reject “Ghostbusters ooze,” which causes them to laugh uncontrollably. This is an opportunity wasted.

If the dialogue were written properly, there might have been a hint of sexual tension between the two. Perhaps the need to be in charge would be equated with who should be on top. But that would mean that Pete and Myka would have a modicum of chemistry between them. Both McClintock and Kelly are also poorly cast. They both look more suited for a laundry commercial than a series with so much rich storyline potential.
Individually, Pete and Myka are just as bland. When on their own and speaking to the citizens of Unionville, it’s the actions of those characters that make the show interesting. Unfortunately, Pete and Myka move on to their next assignment and leave the real actors behind.

For a network that has aired such ground breaking series as “Doctor Who” and “Battlestar Galactica,” the newly renamed SyFy channel has committed the biggest sin – showing a series that is boring. The powers that be at SyFy should have known from the pilot that this could not work. The only scenes that are interesting in that episode are the ones with CCH Pounder (Mrs. Frederic), who is ominous and older than she appears. Her character is similar to the one she voiced in the animated series “Justice League” (Amanda Waller). This only made the hour and 27 minutes unbearable to watch.

The 46 minutes in the third episode named “Magnetism” is not as nearly as painful since the annoyance of the characters is minimized by the interaction with the guest stars, who wisely have dominant speaking parts. However, the regular cast cannot hide behind guest stars every week.

When in the pilot episode Myka wishes for a transfer and instead gets a ferret because she cannot have the impossible, we, as the audience, are relieved that we can — by changing the channel.