Too Many Vampires

Vampires Everywhere, this Los Angeles-based band of misfits is running with the whole vampire craze, using that gimmick in an effort to exploit the undead mania and sell records. In doing so, this band sold their souls. The only singing parts are Auto-Tuned. As if having “Twilight” wannabes around weren’t annoying enough.

Sure, they have a hard-rock swagger to them, but they fail miserably at comparing to bands such as Slipknot, who they make an attempt to emulate. Slipknot’s words are understood and clear no matter how raging the lead singer is. For Vampires Everywhere, not many words are comprehensible. Rock ‘n’ roll fans and artists should burn this CD – and not in their home computers.

The suggestion is to not only stay away from purchasing the album, but to refrain from listening to this garbage altogether, because it represents everything wrong with the music industry and how they view listeners. This whole idea of vampire rockers is a ruse to keep making pretty pennies from the vampire and Auto-Tune pandemic sweeping the world.

The two songs on this debut – “Immortal Love” and “The Embrace” – both sound pretty much the same, starting with the yelling and screaming of words that look good when reading the lyrics but cannot be understood when being heard. From there, the chorus takes over and commits Auto-Tune suicide. The actual music is as painful to human eardrums as the sun and garlic is to them. The guitars and drums are on point at the beginning, but fade and become repetitive and mechanical as the song progresses.

It has a unique sound similar to dry heaving over a melody. Century Media has reached an all-time low by signing this group of cornballs who resemble a boy band on Halloween. Anybody who becomes a fan of this is batty, and should sink their teeth into a bloody batch of cyanide.

The one good thing about this band is that their CD case was nicely designed. Other than that, it is wishful thinking to hope that this record lives up to its name and either gets “Lost in the Shadows” or found in a dumpster.

The rock portions of the songs are miserable, the computerized singing is even worse and the creativity level misses the mark as punk rock and come off more like Punky Brewster. The band name is derived from children’s literature and the 1987 film “The Lost Boys,” and that is exactly what they are. Vampires Everywhere originally began as a comic book, but with help from this band, it has transitioned into comic relief.