The Art of War or Not a Man Just Yet

Wrestling matters?

Not yet apparently.

TNA wasted the first 15 minutes of this week’s episode of Impact with an utter mess of a promo and listless encounter between the X-Division roster, Immortal and Fourtune. While Mike Tenay and Tazz were adamant about how wrestling comes first in the new TNA, that wasn’t wrestling.

It was a dragging disaster.

By the end of the night, things didn’t change. TNA has not yet proven they are any different than they were two weeks ago.

Well, to be fair the ropes are blue and the set is a bit snazzier.

While there weren’t many developments last night aside from the returning ODB, Tommy Dreamer earned his TNA stripes after he took out AJ Styles once again with a piledriver. While the storyline between him, Bully Ray and Styles is still a convoluted mess, Dreamer is getting a push he hasn’t gotten in years. It remains to be seen if he can make the most of this opportunity though.

However, wouldn’t it make more sense to see a youngster like Gunner in a program with Styles?

Instead, they’d rather waste Gunner on Eric Young, who can compete, but has been made to look like a fool for years now.

Enough is enough. Let Young wrestle and be funny. It’ll make for great television and make the feud between the two of these guys a meaningful one.

Another big mistake last night was following up the Matt Hardy and Eric Bischoff/Generation Me match with a handicap bout between Anglina Love, Winter and Velvet Sky. Simply put, you cannot have Bischoff in the ring and then follow that up with an angle that is not over with the fans and will never be over. It’s just not smart. If this show was on Monday nights, this would be the exact moment even the most loyal TNA fan would change the channel.

It gets worse.

The promo between Ric Flair and Robert Roode was a crime scene. At one point, Roode said, “Don’t you ever underestimate the fact that I’m not a man.” Soon after he got his reverse arm-bar on Flair, but was thn beaten with a chair by Immortal. Where was Fourtune?

Good wrestling has a creative logic; this stuff is beyond wacky.

Between all that and the silly fan interviews, TNA is sinking fast.

They say wrestling matters, but there’s still a ton of posturing and dilly-dallying going on during Impact.

Matches:

Sarita, Rosita and Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher, Mickie James and Tara: This match, above all else, proved to any naysayers that Tara can still wrestle. In just a few minutes in the ring, she delivered her trademark spinning side slam, a few clotheslines and a two-handed seated choke bomb, which ensured her team the win. Will she feud with Rayne for Slammiversary?

Abyss vs. Kazarian for the X-Division Title: What would Sun Tzu do? What is Eric Bischoff smoking? Sure, Abyss captured the X-Division title, but those silly comments weren’t necessary. We know Immortal is at war with Fourtune, but little extras like Bischoff’s comments made it all hokey. Aside from the meandering before and after the match, the contest itself was solid, with Abyss using the shock treatment to set up the black hole slam for the win.

Amazing Red vs. Samoa Joe:
Quick victory for Joe, who defeated Red with the muscle buster. After the match, Crimson attacked Joe. Will they fight too at Slammiversary?

Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy and Eric Bischoff: With Hardy doing most of the heavy lifting for his team, this wasn’t a bad match until Bischoff got in there. Early on, it was like watching a master teach his apprentices. Generation Me is essentially a clone of the Michael Hayes managed Hardy Boys. They’re such a quality tag team, but they need a real persona. It’s okay to emulate the Hardy Boys, but at times it feels like they “are” the Hardy Boys. From their look, to high-flying moves, they need something different that fans can latch on to. Otherwise, they’ll never get through the mid-card.

On another note, having Bischoff pin any wrestler isn’t good for their career. The X-Division is in serious trouble creatively.

Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love and Winter: A run of the mill handicap encounter that continues this inane and repetitive angle. Velvet Sky won the contest with an inside cradle and was soon beaten up by the returning ODB. At this point, Sky needs a real push as a knockout or as a valet. Maybe a feud with ODB can help her because this program has her stuck in wrestling purgatory. It’s also taken the life out of Love’s career.

About Patrick Hickey Jr. 8609 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is the Founder, Editor-in-Chief, Master Jedi and Grand Pooh-bah of ReviewFix.com and is the author of the book, "The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews with Cult and Classic Video Game Developers," from leading academic and non-fiction publisher McFarland and Company. He is currently the Assistant Director of the Journalism Program at Kingsborough Community College and is a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and a National Video Games Writer at the late Examiner.com. He has also had articles and photos published in The New York Times, The New York Daily News, Complex and The Syracuse Post-Standard. Love him. Read him.

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