Fallout New Vegas: Lonesome Road Review: A Lonesome Road Indeed

I spent over 100 hours playing Fallout New Vegas since its release in the fall last year. It was a sort of salvation, a way to escape the rigors of teaching and graduate school. A place where I could do almost anything, but still had to be responsible for my actions. A fantastic, yet buggy and often unpolished RPG, it ends with no real semblance of accomplishment, no reason to stop and admire your handiwork.

Much like the lives we live outside our favorite games, its times of greatness don’t define it nearly as well as its failures. Like the game’s other DLCs, Lonesome Road feels rushed. The script drags. The level design is a mess and the enemy AI is putrid. It nearly ruins the fun in the end.

But speaking of conclusions, we’d rather pretend this game doesn’t have one. It’s melodramatic, confusing and plain disappointing. A true shame too, considering how much time you have to invest in the game to get to that point.

Nothing less than a virtual back rub and a plethora of answers to the story’s questions were going to satisfy the cult of fans this title has.

Ultimately, there’s no massage though. There’s just a confusing monologue that professes “War never changes.”

Thanks Bethesda, we could have played Fallout 3 if we wanted to hear that.

In a month, we’ll be playing Skyrim in hopes that you’ve learned from the more than handful of lazy mistakes you’ve made in this title that keep it from being great.

Those gaffs in Lonesome Road start right away. The sheer insane amount of Deathclaws in such a confined space in this DLC will be a problem for any gamer, regardless of their equipment or level. Nonetheless, the AI is so poor that you can spot them on your radar and snipe them for 15 minutes, wasting bullets like words to an annoying boss, and take them out. Rather than attack you, these huge beasts will run in rhythmic patterns, never truly escaping your wrath. If they do see you though, beware. One shot kills are imminent. They are also annoying. Why Deathclaws in the main game aren’t nearly as powerful as these ones is too baffling to ponder.

Even worse than this is the level design. Reminiscent of the rubble backgrounds in Washington DC in Fallout 3, this DLC is entirely too difficult and laborious to navigate. It requires you to shoot small nuclear bombs to open up passages, which sounds interesting enough, but considering the fact that these nukes are the same color as the terrain for the most part, it all feels like a post- Armageddon version of “Where’s Waldo.”

You’d think that once you’re done killing all the Deathclaws and finding your way that the end of the game would be worth it. It’s not. The Courier Six is bat-crap crazy and speaks in jibber-jabber nonsense. His allegiances, motives and real thoughts are never explained enough to truly engage you. Everything from his voice and his look, are too over the top to take seriously. The final fight scene is laughable and the end of it all is all too predictable.

The result of it all? 100 hours of gameplay and not one real moment that you’ll take with you on any other journey. Like a relationship you can’t escape, the adventure is good enough to keep you there. It’s often beautiful and engaging, but when it lulls, it reveals a weakness it can never recover from. You stay for the hopes of those positive attributes to return and while they do, they are merely too little, too late.

It’s not a waste of time, but it’s a lesson learned. If “War never Changes,” like Bethesda proclaims, let’s hope that the production staff behind this title doesn’t have the same permanence.

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About Patrick Hickey Jr. 14225 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is a full-time Assistant Professor of Communication & Performing Arts and Director of the Journalism program at Kingsborough Community College and is the chairman of the City University of New York Journalism Council. He is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of ReviewFix.com. He's also a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and National Video Games Writer at Examiner.com where his work was mentioned in National Ad campaigns by Disney, Nintendo and EA Sports. Hickey was also the Editor-In-Chief of two College Newspapers before he received his BA in Journalism from Brooklyn College. Hickey's work has been published in The New York Daily News, The New York Times, Complex, The Hockey Writers, Yahoo!, Broadway World, Examiner, NYSportScene Magazine, ProHockeyNews.com, GothamBaseball.com, The Syracuse Post-Standard, Scout.com and the official sites of the Brooklyn Aces and New York Islanders. His first book, The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews With Cult And Classic Video Game Developers was released in April 2018 and is chock full of interviews with legendary developers. His second book in the series, The Minds Behind Adventures Games, was released in December 2019. His third book, The Minds Behind Sports Games, was released in September 2020. His fourth book, The Minds Behind Shooter Games, was released in March 2021. The Minds Behind Sega Genesis Games and The Minds Behind PlayStation Games were released in 2022 and The Minds Behind PlayStation 2 was published in January 2023. Hickey is also a contracted comic book writer, currently penning his original series, "Condrey," as well as "The Job," "Brooklyn Bleeds" "Dem Gulls" and "KROOM" for Legacy Comix, where he serves as founder, owner and Editor-in-Chief. Hickey Jr. is also a voice actor, having starred in the 2018 indie hit and 2019 Switch, PS4 and Xbox One release, The Padre (also serving as English language Story Editor), from Shotgun With Glitters. The sequel, The Padre: One Shell Straight to Hell was released in February 2021- Hickey also served as a Story Editor and Lead Voiceover performer. He has also done narration and trailers for several other titles including The Kaiju Offensive, Relentless Rex and Roniu’s Tale. Hickey is also the lead voiceover performer on Mega Cat Studios’ upcoming title WrestleQuest, responsible for nearly 90 characters in the game, as well as Skybound's Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood, where he voices both Dracula and Renfield, as well as several other characters. He also stars in Ziggurat Interactive’s World Championship Boxing Manager 2, where he performs the VO of nearly every male character in the game. He also worked on the Atari VCS’s BPM Boy.

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