Gamer Chicks: Techno Kitten Adventure

Imagine being whisked away to the world of open seas, the sun on the horizon, speeding boats, unicorns and the occasional “Waiting for Tonight” video style laser explosions of merriment and ecstasy, right in your own living room- for only a scant dollar.

That reality is possible today, my friends.

Indie developer xMONOx’s “Techno Kitten Adventure” will surely satisfy meme-whores everywhere. The description alone sold me. “Navigate a kitten by jetpack, fueled by hopes and dreams, through a fantastical world of techno music.” How could I not purchase this blindly?

The moment the game loads, unidentifiable wedges of rainbow lights flutter across the screen… UFOs and speeding boats appear and speed by. Small groups of birds, flocks of shooting stars explode into your field of vision. What is this, madness?

A lone kitten, waged with the task of operating a jetpack (if George Michael Bluth had a hard time, imagine this wee feline), struggles to maneuver around ill-placed polygon after polygon, that for whatever reason appears in his path alongside the land of the rising sun.

Just as your high score is racking up to an impressive six figures, you dip too fast and hit the border, erupting into a blossom of stars. Defeat.

Admittedly after a few rounds, the novelty starts to wear off and you wonder if there’s anything left to the game… or if it’s another vicious cock-tease of infinite proportions like The Impossible Game.

An innovator in kitschy success, TKA is a must have simply because sometimes, there’s just nothing better to do and it’s simply funny to play. The sheer stupidity of what you’re doing is entertaining in itself.

The one song on repeat, “Sea of Love” by DJ Hixxy. It seems painfully similar to the tactics behind Robot Unicorn Attack (which features Erasure’s “Always”), but the repetition is exactly what provides the foundation for this novelty game. I don’t know when intentionally-corny came became a signifier of awesomeness, but let’s hope it doesn’t bring back a resurgence all the crap that reminds me of my childhood.

It’s not something I would play all day, every day and it’s certainly not something I play often, but knowing I have it in my library for when I’m up at 4am and don’t feel like playing something challenging or involved is comforting. “Techno Kitten Adventure” is like a carton of Ben & Jerry’s for my brain.

About Samantha LoSapio 31 Articles
Samantha LoSapio is an adjunct lecturer of English, contributer to as well as, and the sole possessor of the Triforce. A proud nerd, much of her expertise takes the form of references to Battlestar Galactica, obscure 13th century literature, basic geology and other skills best reserved for Jeopardy contestants. She has made Sheepshead Bay her home since 1994.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.