TNA Impact Wrestling Coverage: Near Sleep-Inducing

TNA continues to make zero sense, both in and out of the ring. Things are so bad that even their commercials and marketing possess zero logic [A Terry Taylor action figure? Really? Who cares]. Aside from a good Alex Shelley/Zema Ion encounter and the continued enjoyable antics of ODB and Eric Young, there wasn’t anything overtly enthralling this week on Impact.

At this point, Young and ODB are the only consistently entertaining performers in the company.

Not a joke.

This show has more problems than a sex addict locked in a brothel.

Basically all the angles are a mess. Gunner was absent from the show after it appeared apparent he was getting a real push. X-Division champion Austin Aries was absent as well. The tag team division is a bore, despite a damn good contending team in Samoa Joe and Magnus. If that wasn’t enough nonsense, the angle between Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles, three of the most talented guys in the company, is an annoying waste of time.

It gets worse.

The tease of who Garrett Bischoff’s trainer is continues to be dragged out. Unless it’s someone huge who can make an impact [no pun intended], it’s just setting up fans for another letdown.

Odds are it’s Hulk Hogan, which would set up a tag match between Hogan and Garrett vs. Bischoff and another green kid. Like their Direct Auto Insurance commercials, that would make little to know sense.

That’s exactly why it may happen.

Right now, TNA is like a child with ADHD on Ritalin. There’s just so much potential with this roster, so much energy, but time and time again, the creative team stifles their athletes both creatively and in the ring.

This product used to be exciting to watch, even when the storylines were a joke.

That isn’t even the case anymore.


Knockouts #1 Contenders Match: Velvet Sky vs. Tara vs. Mickie James: A routine match with an interesting finish as Tara hit her spinning sideslam on Sky, while James was underneath, for the win. Tara now gets a title shot at Against All Odds.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley: Ion is like this generation’s Rick “The Model” Martel with the hairspray and overt cockiness and flamboyance. Like Martel, he’s got talent too. But Shelley is in another league. While Ion hit a few flashy moves, Shelley is such a good combination of flash, ring smarts and technical ability. The match had a nice pace and after Ion missed his 450 finisher, Shelley hit the Sliced Bread neckbreaker for the win. With the victory, Shelley gets an X-Division title shot at Against All Odds.

Eric Young and ODB vs. Winter and Angelina Love: A weak match [ODB botched a Bronco Buster] but an entertaining one. At this point, TNA could get a higher rating if Young “Locked-Up” with the crowd for 120 minutes than any of the tripe storylines TNA is currently pushing. After she got get fix from her flash, ODB rebounded with some shoulder blocks and her Fallaway Slam. A double airplane spin from the tandem was cute and a Samoan Drop from ODB to finish it off just worked. These two are great together.

Samoa Joe w/ Magnus vs. Matt Morgan w/ Crimson: Both Morgan and Joe are being wasted in tag team roles, but their sacrifice is an admirable one. There’s no one ekse. They are at their best in singles action and they were solid. Both went through their routine offense and didn’t embarrass themselves or the company. However, the win, which came from a Discus Lariat from Morgan, was a terrible finish. Joe is a former World Champion. He’s got to be beat with something better than that.

Bully Ray and TNA World Champion Robert Roode vs. Jeff Hardy and James Storm in a Tables Match: Announcer Mike Tenay said the match was out of control, but for a tables match, it was pretty tame. And it dragged. With a ton of punches and kicks, it was an old-school slugfest with little personality. Storm hit an elbow drop on Roode, who was being held on a table by Hardy to get the win. After the match, Ray went to work and beat up on both the faces, powerbombing Hardy through another table.

About Patrick Hickey Jr. 13221 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is the Founder, Editor-in-Chief, Master Jedi and Grand Pooh-bah of and is the author of the book, "The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews with Cult and Classic Video Game Developers," from leading academic and non-fiction publisher McFarland and Company. He is currently the Assistant Director of the Journalism Program at Kingsborough Community College and is a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and a National Video Games Writer at the late He has also had articles and photos published in The New York Times, The New York Daily News, Complex and The Syracuse Post-Standard. Love him. Read him.

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