Has every episode of American Idol started off showing the contestants weeping over the latest to leave or is this a new thing? ‘Cause it’s pretty silly—especially having them cry over Deandre Brackensick—there definitely were no tears in this office when the hair tossing, falsetto boy was voted off last Thursday.
Despite this, Tommy Hilfiger returns with fashion advice, continuing America’s disbelief that he is actually straight and married; while Akon joins Jimmy Iovine to critique the contestants’ rehearsals. The theme is “Music from 2010 to Today”—couldn’t they just say “contemporary?” Rather than breaking out the hits, however, contestants tried to show how indie they are and sang mostly unknown songs.
Skylar Laine; “Didn’t You Know How Much I Love You” by Kellie Pickler
Sure no one knew this song, but it didn’t matter, ‘cause it was an awesome performance. Props to Skylar. It was also nice to see her holding a guitar and strumming it, giving her a little edge over those who just sing.
Judges Say: Jennifer and Randy thought she had “perfect pitch” and Randy even told her she could make a hit record with that song.
We Say: Could the first performance really be the best of the night?
Watch Skylar’s performance below:
Colten Dixon; “Love the Way You Lie” by Skylar Grey (sung by Rihanna in Eminem’s song)
This made us discover the emo kid in all of us. While Colten is sometimes annoying with his whiny tone and I-know-girls-love-me smirk, his voice and infliction worked well for this disheartening song. He was back at his original seat on the piano, slowing down the melody and even holding back on what-could-have-been way too over-the-top notes.
Judges Say: Jennifer said, “You sing all these different types of artists but it’s always Colten.” Although, she did wish he did “more with the song.”
We Say: Good job.
Elise and Phillip interject the show with another duet, this time of Goyte and Kimbra’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” Elise has pitch problems and Phillip is twitching hardcore without an instrument in his hands. They should have realized after Lindsey Pavao’s abomination of the song on The Voice that no one can cover it like Walk Off the Earth.
Jessica Sanchez; “Stuttering” by Jazmine Sullivan
What song? Who sang it? No one knows except for Jessica. She sings it well. Apparently, she can scat now, too.
Judges Say: Looking bored after the performance, they claimed they loved it and she’s amazing as usual. Though Jennifer may have hinted and what we’ve said all along, “dig a little deeper,” meaning “you’re a little boring.”
We Say: Good but still not understanding all the hype.
Joshua Ledet; “Runaway Baby” by Bruno Mars
Fantasia, American Idol Season 3 winner, sent him a birthday wish and labels him “Mantasia” to which he appears flabbergasted and happy about it. Good for him. Maybe this gave him an energy boost ‘cause the performance was fun to watch (complete with horns and a go go dancer).
Judges Say: Only standing ovation of the night—“You can sell a song like a work of art,” Steven commented.
We Say: Too bad you’re not a heartthrob like Phillip and Colten. Awesome voice, though!
Colten and Skylar are up for their duet with “Don’t You Want to Stay” by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson. Again, the producers have coerced Skylar and Colten to deny rumors of dating but guess what? No one thinks they are! Maybe because Skylar is a gun-shooting tomboy and Colten is this emo, girly-man who loves Jesus and it comes off like neither is sure what role to play. (That’s what everyone is really thinking.) At least, we got to hear Skylar sing “make love” again, accentuating “love” with some country grit.
Hollie Cavanagh; “Perfect” by Pink
Oh Holly, you try so hard. Now it’s just sad, especially to watch you sing “Perfect” while trying so hard to be just that. And that accent—when you say “pear-fect” we cringe. As for the performance, it was a little off but better than she has done in a while. Unfortunately, her voice does not compare well with the dirt in Pink’s.
Judges Say: “You look beautiful”—the kiss of death. They dance around what no one wants to outright say, what may just be the cruelest criticism of all: “You’re boring.”
We Say (unabashedly): You’re boring, you have no personality, and when you sing it comes off with as much emotion as a pencil. Yes, you are a nice person and can belt, but get off stage.
Phillip Phillips; “Give a Little More” by Maroon 5
Phillip’s home video reminds us all he is kind of a hick. Despite this, he was extra sexy tonight. Maybe it was the red flashing lights in the background, maybe it was his shifty eyes, or it could have been him growling “give a little more to me” but yes, he definitely exuded sex. He even started grooving with his legs and hips, reminding us with a guitar he is not twitchy at all, but a smooth sex machine.
Judges Say: By end Randy looked like he was in love but then after Jennifer voiced her disapproval, saying he “always sounds the same” Randy seemed to go in that direction. Steven liked it.
We Say: Question of the day, do you think Phillip Phillips is a stoner or a hick?
Watch Phillip’s performance below:
For some more time filler, Joshua, Hollie, and Jessica sing Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger.”Eh.
Elise Testone; “You and I” by Lady Gaga
Why oh why did she want to play the drums? Thankfully, Jimmy and Anok convinced her out of that one during rehearsals. She still ends up behind a piano though. She slows the song down, attempts to reincarnate Janis Joplin, and bores us.
Judges Say: Randy declares, “Elise is back!” All agree she is a “closer” and was great.
We Say: Did we watch a different performance? Her pitch was totally off at points—not pleasing to hear.
This article was originally published on AllMediaNY.com