WWE RAW Coverage: People-Powered Pierced Nipples and Brock Lesnar

Brock Lesnar is back.

All it took was an F5 to completely change the landscape of the WWE.

Just one day after Wrestlemania and the WWE feels like a completely different promotion.

It’s exciting again.

If you thought John Cena vs. The Rock was hot, Lesnar vs. Cena has the potential of being even bigger.

In other news…it took The Rock 18 minutes to tell us his grand vision, one that needed no revampin’.

He wants to be WWE World Heavyweight Champion, again.

Speaking of again, A-Train, or was it Albert, cough, Lord Tensai, pierced nipples and all, made an impressive return to RAW with a huge squash win over Alex Riley, while Chris Jericho had a buzz worthy moment involving CM Punk. The return of Alberto Del Rio also opens some interesting possibilities.

The matches, for the most part, were intense and the storyline, just enough. The John Laurinaitis era of RAW has started off with a bang.

With the impending Brock Lesnar and John Cena feud just getting underway as well, it’s easy to say that this had to be the best episode of RAW so far this year.

Matches:

United States Champion Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler w/ Vikki Guerrero: Marella looked good against Ziggler and Swagger in his Alundra Blaze-inspired colored tights. This should have been a piece of pie for Swagger and Ziggler, but they couldn’t get on the same page. Taking advantage of their miscommunications, Marella hit The All-American American with the Cobra for the win. After the match Brodus Clay came to help out Marella. Lets just say these two are hilarious together.

Lord Tensai vs. Alex Riley: Albert is back and meaner than ever. Poor Riley. Even if he was selling, that stuff was stiff. A vicious double-arm delayed release suplex and a sitout senton set the tone early. A chokebomb later forced the referee to stop the match. A Von Erich Claw Hold [after he sprayed a poison mist onto his hand] after the bell confirmed Tenai’s dominance.

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Mark Henry: With a new set of tights, Henry seemed refreshed. He worked Punk’s injured back well. But the WWE Champion’s heart wouldn’t allow him to succumb under the paws of Henry. Using his legs and his knees, Punk got back into the match, but Henry had an answer every time it looked like Punk was about to get the big advantage. After he finally got in a big kick, Punk landed the big elbow and two high knees. But again, Henry wasn’t ready to go to bed and threw Punk out of the ring. Unable to get back in the ring, Henry got the win via count-out, but Punk retains the title. Henry landed the World’s Strongest Slam on the outside on the champion after the match. Soon enough, Chris Jericho was near the fallen Punk, pouring Jack Daniels all over him at first, before breaking a bottle over his head.

Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston: Big Show offered the distraction and Kingston capitalized with the Trouble in Paradise for the win.

The Miz vs. Zack Ryder: These two have chemistry. A long-term program is a must. Miz did a ton of selling here, as Ryder went through his signature offense. But Miz was never out of the game. A counter led the way to his Skull-Crushing Finale Finisher for the win.

About Patrick Hickey Jr. 8907 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is the Founder, Editor-in-Chief, Master Jedi and Grand Pooh-bah of ReviewFix.com and is the author of the book, "The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews with Cult and Classic Video Game Developers," from leading academic and non-fiction publisher McFarland and Company. He is currently the Assistant Director of the Journalism Program at Kingsborough Community College and is a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and a National Video Games Writer at the late Examiner.com. He has also had articles and photos published in The New York Times, The New York Daily News, Complex and The Syracuse Post-Standard. Love him. Read him.

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