Envisioning a New Santino Marella

Santino Marella is an entertaining fan favorite, but with the right gimmick, he could be gold.

It wouldn’t be that difficult either. A shaved head and a suit would do him wonders.

Taking advantage of his Italian heritage and the company’s humble New York City roots, Marella could be the resident mafioso in the WWE.

Say goodbye to The Cobra and hello to the Dragon Sleeper. Marella could call it “Sleeping with da fishes.”

The way it could all go down is simple, too. When Marella comes back, have him debut his new look and cut a promo that says his days of doing shine jobs are over; he wants the respect a former U.S., Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion deserves.

Enter a big guy with a wise mouth, someone the likes of Wade Barrett, Big E. Langston or even Ryback. Once they get in Marella’s face, the little guy goes for the short cut and quick chops the guy in the throat. Once they clutch their voice box in pain, Marella pulls out some piano wire from his pants and wraps it around their throat. With the wire in place, Marella slaps on the Dragon Sleeper. If his victim can sell it well enough, the marks on their necks will be awesome.

A tight pan on the camera via instant replay and Marella can become a one man APA. you have a problem with someone, call Marella. He may not get it done in the ring or legally, but he’ll “fix” it.

A later “blessing” and kiss in the Hall of Fame ring on Raw from “The Italian Stallion” himself, Bruno Sammartino could even legitimize the character. A run with the Intercontinental Championship, dethroning the now snooze-inducing combo of Curtis Axel and Paul Heyman could make him a fan favorite. Extending the angle for a period of time would be a nice way to make the IC title meaningful again.

Add some snazzy music and a sexy valet and Marella could be so much more than a mid-card face. The vignettes could be priceless, playing off all the great Scorsese films. While his character would be a serious one, it would be funny enough for people to enjoy and get a kick out of as well.

About Patrick Hickey Jr. 9079 Articles
Patrick Hickey Jr. is the Founder, Editor-in-Chief, Master Jedi and Grand Pooh-bah of ReviewFix.com and is the author of the book, "The Minds Behind the Games: Interviews with Cult and Classic Video Game Developers," from leading academic and non-fiction publisher McFarland and Company. He is currently the Assistant Director of the Journalism Program at Kingsborough Community College and is a former News Editor at NBC Local Integrated Media and a National Video Games Writer at the late Examiner.com. He has also had articles and photos published in The New York Times, The New York Daily News, Complex and The Syracuse Post-Standard. Love him. Read him.

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