It’s Rampage baby. These are the rankings ya’ll been waitin’ on. So let’s get to it!
Honorable Mention: Hikaru Shida, Scorpio Sky & The House of Black. Shida took a page out of Drew McIntyre’s playbook and said she’d cut Serena Deeb’s head off. In a promo from Men of the Year and Lambert we were reminded that Sky isn’t just defending his TNT title but also his undefeated streak. The House of Black makes the cut for their wink and nod odes to WWE when they cut a vague promo about turning their target’s eyes “black again” & Matthews, the self-proclaimed “Best Kept Secret” (I’ll proclaim that as well though Charlie Dempsey may have taken that crown) mentioned knowing their secrets and their truths.
5. Keith Lee. Oof. Like the Drake match last week this wasn’t the best use of Lee. He got the win over Mashall with the BBC to earn a spot on the list. Lee yeeted Marshall around the ring, powerbombed Comoroto & tossed Solo on to both men outside before getting beat down by Starks and Hobbs and eating a big spinebuster from Hobbs and being left laying. My main problem is Marshall is a goober and Lee should never have trouble putting him away, which he did here. Lee should have done a greatest hits of Lee moves and never been taken down like he was, especially if you were going to end the segment with Hobbs standing tall. Marshall isn’t a guy who needs any sort of protection so this being competitive, even though it wasn’t very long, was really strange.
4. Jamie Hayter. Hayter ate a harsh looking butterfly suplex while her legs were on Mercedes Martinez’ knees and an overhesd throw to the corner. She also got hit with a spider German suplex from Martinez but thanks to a distraction from Rebel dropping her glasses in front of the ref that allowed Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. (I’m legally bound to write the entire name) to attack Martinez Hayter was able to rebound & hit a lariat for the win. After the match the trio tried to beat down Martinez but were ran off by Thunder Rosa wideling a chair ahead of her cage match with Baker at St. Patrick’s Day Slam.
3. Swerve Strickland. Swerve had a strong showing in his in-ring debut for AEW but unfortunately he’s held out of a top 2 spot by a blast of an opener and my own petty grudge against his opponent Tony Nese becauss of his Twitter shots at Cassanova Valentine who was really, really awesome when I met him randomly last year. Swerve is great though. Early on he had a unique spot where he ran at Tony agaianst the ropes to make Tony hit the perpendicular rope instead & Swerve rolled backwards to clip Nese’s leg. It’s nice to see less traditional, expected patterns of movement in the ring. He got to show his confidence when Nese pulled down the ropes and he did his signature handspring to the floor and followed that up by illustrating his knowledge of the little things when after an outside exchange that ended in a pump kick from Swerve off the apron he stood on Nese while getting off the apron to the floor. There were a couple of spots where their timing wasn’t totally on point & again, because I’m petty I’m putting the blame squarely on Nese but the end finally came when Swerve hit a House Call and diving double stomp off the corner for 3.
2. Darby Allin. He and Quen had a really fun match to kick off the show but for once Darby didn’t have the craziest spots in his match. He did hit a superplex & Scorpion Death Drop which were both pretty cool though. Ultimately he won when he countered a Shooting Star Press attempt into a Fujiwara Arm Bar.
1. Marq Quen. I’ve probably mentioned before but I’ve been a massive fan since I first saw Private Party at a Warriors of Wrestling show in 2018. That night they wrestled a team that I hadn’t heard of before and haven’t heard much from since but they tore the house down. These kids had “It” so I shouldn’t be surprised by Quen having such a great singles showing but somehow I am. Quen hit a sick looking flipping flatliner and tried a shooting star press that cost him the match but between that he did his best Darby Allin impersonation landing a 450 from the top post to Darby who was laid out on the floor. You have to see this spot for yourself! For that reason he gets the ultra rare, possibly never seen before top spot from me despite the loss. I hope he and Kassidy get a lot of time and a lot of offense whenever their ineveitable clash with the Hardys happens. They deserve it *clap, clap, clap clap clap*
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