NXT UK Review: Ilya Still The Man

Mark Coffey opened the show and had a match with Sha Samules. But as entertaining as Samuels is Coffey isn’t. Gallus stinks and are holding my man Wilfgang back. But you know what doesn’t stink? These fresh new rankings! So here they are! 

Honorable Mention: Noam Dar, Xia Brookside and Isla Dawn. Dar ran down Joe Coffey and said “You should have stuck to playing beep beep in Mommy & Daddy’s car with those paper gangsters you call family” which got a chuckle out of me and asked if this would be “Just another big fight failure for Joe Coffey” Which I, of course, hope it is. Brookside tried off camera to call her Daddy and ask for help from the special somebody he knows who can help her because “Sid Scala said (the losses) were my fault and they’re not my fault!” I love that character and I’m a sucker for a good mystery. Dawn gets a mention for creepily singing in the woods with flowers (I assume from the Satomura celebration) about how every prize she collects makes her grow stronger than they know and that soon the final vase will fall and she will stand tall. Again, I love characters and hers is very clear as the show’s resident witch.

5. Wild Boar (Maybe. Or maybe somebody else). We were back in the woods with the trucker from last week. A voice over said “I trusted you. We were a part of a pack but you left me to rot. But I survived, stalked away, hid myself away & survived. It was a time when I thought I would just rot away, just fade away. I did anything it took to survive. For you, the hunt is over. For me, the hunt has just begun.” The trucker picked up a dismembered jaw bone of some animal and the camera cut for a split second to what looked like Wild Boar’s mask peeking out from a tree. Since I started regularly watching NXT Primate has been in Symbiosis but I do rememeber getting a glimpse of The Hunt before which is why I assume, based on this promo that it’s a Wild Boar return and undortunately not a new Yeti. I won’t pretend to be familiar with Boar’s work but I like the story behind a potential feud with he and Symbiosis.

4. Dave Mastiff & Jack Starz. Facing my favorite duo in NXT UK, Pretty Deadly, I shouldn’t have been as behind Mastiff & Starz as they got me. But that’s the power of good story telling and we got a great one here. Mastiff finally gave Starz his “cut” during their entrance and it was like the shoes from Like Mike. After losing the #1 Contenders Tournament match because Dave refused to tag out the tables were turned and Mastiff, finally confident in his partner, made him stay in at one point when he looked for a quick tag out. Starz had a great showing and got especially fired up when Sam Stoker took his cut and put it on. Starz yelled at Mastiff to tag him in and he ripped the cut off Stoker, wore it himself and hit a powerbomb on to the larger Stoker for the 3. After the match Matiff prompted Starz to do Mastiff’s big stomp pose and he did! The camera shook and I so did my belly as I laughed at the brilliance of this pairing. Odd couple pairings are genuinely one of my favorite things in all of wrestling; Team Hell No, The Broserweight, RKBro, Mastiff & Starz. For a concept so easy and so fun I’m glad WWE hasn’t run it into the ground…yet.

3. Charlie Dempsey. My favorite person in NXT UK was back to his dirty tricks this week. He called A-Kid over during a training session and asked him to show Dempsey a lock. A-Kid refused saying he’ll only use it to take liberties. Charlie assured him he’s not the guy Kid thinks he is before Raja nailed the Spaniard with a shot from behind. Dempsey asked what they thought they were doing before going “Alright” and joining Raja and Teoman in beating down A-Kid. Dempsey looks cool, he sounds cool, he is cool. He’s just Hook from across the pond and I’m still saying that Hook v. Charlie Dempsey will happen one day and it’ll be the series finale of professional wrestling when it does!

2. Nathan Frazer. He and Dragunov had a fantastic title match but Frazer, like Ilja in his first attempt, ultimately fell just short of his goal. And while he may not have won the championship he won Dragunov’s respect with moves like a springboard moonsault into a reverse DDT, a slingblade, multiple superkicks, a hurricanrana and Phoenix Splash and plenty more. Frazer is amazing and I never realized until hearing it juxtaposed with Dragunov’s new, generic music how good his own entrance tune is. Frazer is a star and I’m glad he’s starting to be treated as such.

1. Ilja Dragunov. I was initially annoyed as Dragunov entered the match to pretty obviously dubbed over generic music but as the match went on and commentary didn’t call the Torpedo Moscow it clicked that this likely isn’t WWE’s usual attempt to fix things that aren’t broken and was more of an attempt to distance themselves from anything tied to Russia. Which is understandable to a degree but also felt more jarring and made me reminded of Dragunov’s Russian connection more than just leaving them. But all that aside Dragunov and Frazer tore the house down and got well deserved “This is awesome!” chants from the invisible crowd. It never ceases to amaze me how great WWE is at piping in fake crowd noise for NXT UK when they have always been absolutely awful at doing it for their main shows. I’ve probably said it before but Dragunov might be the best bell to bell guy in the world. Everything he does he lays in and does with such speed and pop that it looks better than anyone else doing it. The prime example here was when he caught a leaping Frazer with a powerbomb and immediately followed up with a just brutal looking falling forearm across the face. In the end Dragunov added a 4th successful UK title defense to his resume with the headbutt formerly known as the Torpedo Moscow. After the match he extended the hand to Frazer who accepted it and then raised the belt to celebrate with only 1 hand because the other one had been hurt throughout the match. He’s the next Omega but with better mic skills and if you want to argue against me I’ll stick my fingers in my ears!

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