AEW Rampage Power Rankings: Lee-ving a Mark

Once again, with all the hours of wrestling to watch this weekend if you found time to read this I salute you. But I’ll try not to take up too much more of your time, here’s the WrestleMania Rampage (wait, you mean we don’t just add WrestleMania in front of every show this week?) Power Rankings! 

Honorable Mention: Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti. They interuppted a promo from Dan Lambert, Men of the Year and Paige Van Zant where American Top Team ran down Sammy & Tay and questioned who took “those pictures” Sammy & Tay then said if they wouldn’t give them their match they could consider this step 1 of trying to change their mind and went to town on Lambert’s car with some sledgehammers and spray paint. Finishing with “Be Mad” painted across the hood.

5. Hook. We were finally going to hear Hook talk when Danhausen interuppted his interview only to be left saying “Baby I don’t understand, just why we can’t be (cursed). Things are getting out of hand. Tryin’ too much but baby we can’t (be cursed)” and his heart torn up because The Handsome Devil once again no sold a curse attempt from the “Very nice, very evil” one. Danhausen was his typically hilarious self when he exclaimed “It works every time! Point at them and bad things happen!” Taz said Hook was “uncursable”

4. Jamie Hayter. We were told that Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. wasn’t ringside with Hayter because she is boycotting A.E.W. until their Pittsburgh return on 4/20. Hayter showed she didn’t need her as she hit Skye Blue with a brutal backbreaker and later a ripcord lariat for the win and a spot in the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament.

3. The House of Black. Evil Uno, Stu Grayson & Fuego Del Sol put up a valiant effort but it wasn’t enough to take down the House of Black. The 3 heels surrounded Fuego late in the match but Grayson and Uno pulled King and Matthews out allowing Fuego to surprise roll Black up for a 2 count. He followed up with a poison rana and but then ate a spinning back heel kick and the loss as King and Matthews stopped Uno & Grayson from getting back in the ring. The win also earned the coveted “Sports Entertainers of the Week” honor from Chris Jericho. Later in the show Penta said that they better not forget about Death Triangle and that if they keep playing with Fuego they’re going to get burned!

2. The Young Bucks. People bash The Young Bucks for “always having the same match” and sure, they make sure they hit their spots in every match and they probably have more signature moves and spots than any team in wrestling but they also seem to always find a way to work new stuff into their matches too which is why I love those guys! This week they and Top Flight had a just wild, balls to the wall, 100 m.p.h. match to open Rampage that 9 times out of 10 would have given them my #1 spot. Aside from the expected Bucks spots we had a unique series where Darius sent Nick to the apron, Nick super kicked Dante (who wasn’t tagged in, just standing there) and then Darius gave chase outside. The elder Martin brother leap frogged Brandon Cutler, ducked a lariat from Nick Jackson and then ate a super kick from Matt. Dante impressed too as he vaulted up and over the turnbuckle from one side of the ring to the perpendicular side, kicks Nick and then hits a huge shotgun dropkick to Matt from the top rope. In a spot I don’t think I’ve ever seen before Dante went from the floor through the middle and top rope to avoid an apron kick from Nick. They also had a cool moment where Nick had Darius held for a German suplex, Darius grabbed Dante, threw him up and over both of them and Dante grabbed Nick to turn the tables. None of that was enough to give Top Flight the victory as late in the match Matt shoved Dante off the top rope to the floor. With Dante out of the equation The Young Bucks used the numbers game to their advantage with a blind tag and a roll through of a backslide attempt by Darius into a BTE trigger for the win.

1. Keith Lee. The only thing that would have made this match meatier would be if Big E had been the special guest referee. I’ve been critical of AEW’s handling of Lee thus far and while I still think him running through his previous opponents in quicker, more dominant fashion would have added to the hype of this match his clash with Powerhouse Hobbs was a blast anyway. These 2 slapped meat early on with a series of shoulder blocks where neither guy budged before Hobbs finally sent Lee into the ropes with one only for Lee to bounce off of them and land one of his own that sent Hobbs outside. On the floor Hoobs sent Lee head first into the post twice before sending hin crashing into the barricade with a thunderous lariat that moved the guard rail back about 6 feet. There was some more back and forth inside with Hobbs landing a falling lariat to a kneeling Lee for 2, then stopping himself from being “yeeted” by Lee only to be hit with an arm trapped clothesline for 2. Lee tried to Spirt Bomb Hobbs but Powerhouse squatted Lee up and over for a back drop. Hobbs then hit an impressively quick Randy Orton-like spinning powerslam for 2. Lee avoided a charging Hobbs in the corner by rolling out and hitting a splash of his own before finally tossing Hobbs across the ring. Hobbs immediately got to his feet and Lee hit him with a headbutt. This is where business really picked up as Taz and Starks came down off commentary with Ricky wielding a chair. Lee punched the chair out of Starks’ hands on the apron and Swerve Strickland came out to brawl with Starks. Hobbs hit a spinebuster to Lee when he turned around but the ref was distracted with the outside pairing and couldn’t make the count. Lee then recovered and hit the former Big Bang Catastrophe on Hobbs for the win! After the match a cut Starks hit Swerve with a chair and a Roshambo through the table before hitting the ring for a 2 on 1 attack on Lee. Starks took off and used his shoe and Lee started to come back but as he grabbed Starks by the neck Hobbs speared Lee through a table they had set up in the corner and we closed with Hobbs telling Lee this was his show! The match was a hoot and the post match donybrook made me really excited to watch these 4 clash in the near future. A table match would have made sense if they weren’t already doing it for the Hardys v. Butcher & Blade match this week but maybe AEW’s first ever (that I can recall) Light’s Out tag team match? Whatever it is, as the kids say “I’m here for it!”

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