AEW Rampage Power Rankings: Lethal Hitting Lottery

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone except Eddie Kingston’s imaginary wife. Seriously. There was a spot tonight when Kingston called in to the show and told Jericho his wife was so upset when she saw him. It was delivered well and we know wrestling is scripted but Kingston has said many times in the past he never got married because wrestling took too much out of him. So for him to now mention his wife either he was lying before or he got got into a relationship faster and deeper than Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti and either way it kind of stinks. Which isn’t typical for Kingston involved mic segments. But what didn’t stink was the rest of Rampage so let’s get to ranking! 

Honorable Mention: Dax Harwood, Shawn Spears, Mark Sterling and Jungle Boy. Harwood said people used to hate him because he was a “nasty bastard” and that nasty bastard is back for the Owen Hart Foundation tournament. Spears talked about Wardlow by name and said Spears is a guy who “Does very bad things for a good reason” and he doesn’t “align (himself) with the guy with the deepest pockets. (He) aligns (himself) with the guy with the darkest intentions” He made Wardlow feel like a giant but then revealed a chair that said “Giant killer” on it. Mark Sterling had a funny bit where he and Nese teased calling out the undefeated young phenom only to reveal he meant Danhuasen, not Hook. And Jungle Boy attacked Ricky Starks on commentary prior to their FTW title match next Wednesday.

5. Men of the Year & Dan Lambert. The trio opened with Lambert running down his own hometown of Baltimore, where tonight’s show was taking place. He called the fans “Baltimorons” and said “When (he’d) rather bring home crabs from a street walker than one of your bayside restaurants it’s time to tell people Dynamite Dan is from Miami” Lambert is always fun. He reminds me of if prime heel Jerry Lawler on comnentary became a full-time manager. Ethan Page had a great line where he said Sammy doesn’t seem like a man who keeps his word so neither is he and their mixed tag match with Tay Conti and Sammy Guevara was off! But Sky had the most shine here. He said “The days of this title being passed around like Tay Conti in the back are over!” and told Lambert the TNT belt he wears has to go back in the trophy case at ATT where it was always supposed to be. He then accepted a title challenge from former partner Frankie Kazarian.

4. Toni Storm & Ruby Soho. The duo kicked off the night defeating Britt Baker & Jamie Hayter in a fast paced solid opener. Storm & Soho showed their teamwork when they hit a double Russian leg sweep on Baker. Soho kicked Baker during a Pittsburgh Sunrise attempt on Storm and Toni then Alabama slammed Britt on Hayter. Storm tried to follow up immediately with a Storm 0 but Baker countered into an air raid crash. Britt gouged the eyes of Storm in the corner while Rebel distracted the ref. Britt followed up with a butterfly suplex that Hayter trailed with a sliding lariat that Britt then finished off with a stomp but Soho pushed Hayter into Britt to break up the pin. The finish came when Soho tossed Hayter from the ring, Britt superkicked Soho and then Storm back rolled Baker for the 3. Part of me wishes the Women’s Tournament final was Baker v. Hayter but after brackets were revealed and they were on the same side them meeting feels unlikely.

3. Hook. “The Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil” made fairly quick work of the larger veteran JD Drake. Hook headbutted a Drake chop then suplexed him. Drake tried for a reverse DDT but Hook nailed a beautiful float over into the Redrum for the submission win. After the match Danhausen came out and told Hook that Nese has “Menacing” Mark Sterling in his corner and Danhausen wants Hook in his. Hook shoved Danhausen to the mat but the “Very Nice, Very Evil” one revealed a bag of chips with a bow on it because it’s Hook’s birthday. As the crowd chanted for “Hookhausen!” Hook grabbed the bag, dropped it and said “Bye Bye Bye” to Danhausen.

2. Riho. “The Magical Girl” Yuka Sakazaki got most of the cool offense here but the first ever AEW Women’s Champion left with the win and the final announced spot in the Owen Hart Foundation Women’s Tournament. Like the men’s tournament, the women’s will also have a “Joker” as the 8th competitor. After Riho bridged up and out of an early pin attempt from Sakazaki Yuka did a cartwheel off the top to the apron to avoid and incoming Riho and then followed up with a 2nd rope cannonball senton to the outside. Yuka tried a Magical Girl Splash but ate Riho’s knees. Riho then hit a Dragon Suplex, tried for a diving knee to the corner that Yuka avoided, they exchanged pinning combinations and Riho finally hit the diving knee but for just 2. Sakazaki then hit Riho with a top rope flatliner for 2 to get a “This is awesome!” chant from the Balitmorons in the crowd. Riho finally got the win when she reversed an elbow strike into an inside cradle for the pin. This was one of the more fun women’s singles matches I’ve seen in AEW and I hope they have a rematch in the near future. With the “Joker” facing Baker on the opposite side of the bracket from Riho I’d be all for Yuka getting that spot to lead to her v. Riho in the final. But I know they’ll likely want a new, more reconginzable name as the mystery entrant.

1. Jay Lethal. Lethal faced DDT’s Konosuke Takeshita in the main event. As somebody who had heard the name Takeshita but never seen an actual match prior to tonight I thought AEW did a good job of showing us who he is. We got highlights from the 6 man tag Takeshita was in opposite Death Triangle at AEW’s lone house show last year and his recent win on Dark Elevation. We were told the jumping knee is his finisher, he’s a 5 time KOD Openweight Champion (which is according to Excalibur DDT’s top title) and he’s wrestled the likes of Omega, Ibushi & Eddie Kingston earlier in his career. This was another one of those “Sheamus showings” from Lethal where I didn’t care early but he pulled me into his match by the end. Takeshita hit a flipping shoulder tackle followed by a very gymnastic vaulting twisting crossbody to the floor. Lethal then worked the leg of Takeshita a bit after a distraction from Satnam Singh and nailed back to back tope suicidas. Lethal had a really nice looking spot where he jacknife covered Takeshita for 2 then floated over and vaulted him into the corner. Konosuke dropkicked Lethal as he was upside down mid-handspring while attempting a Lethal Combination. They brawled outside a bit and back in the ring Takeshita hit a lariat off the top rope that Joel Maximo has dubbed the “DCL” (Daddy Clothes Line) which sent Lethal flipping to the canvas. Lethal got a Figure 4 locked in but Takeshita got to the ropes. He tried another but the DDT star rolled through and delivered a big brainbuster for 2. Lethal then hit a Lethal Combination and tried for a Lethal Injection again but Konosuke bent over and vaulted Lethal over and followed up with a big lariat and jumping knee but as he made the cover Dutt got on the apron to distract the ref and he finally counted in time for just a 2. Lethal tried a roll-up for 2 but as he was shoved off he hit the ropes and finally nailed a Lethal Injection for 3. After the match The Best Friends came out. Taylor and Trent brawled with Lethal and Dutt as Cassidy waited outside. Singh bounced Taylor’s head off the mat like a basketball and then stared down Orange Cassidy on the apron. Cassidy teased putting his hands in his pockets only to drop to the floor and finish the motion. Samoa Joe followed with a pipe but security held him off from getting to Singh, Dutt and Lethal as we went off the air.

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