This week was a shockingly eventful Rampage for how relatively bland it looked on paper so let’s not waste time and get to the rankings!
Honorable Mention: Hook, Kris Statlander, Athena and Jim Ross. Hook being the weekly star of Rampage was all I ever wanted. All I ever needed. So tell me what to do now because I want him back. But instead I had to settle for a well made video package showcasing his path of destruction and his shenanigans in the back. Statlander and Athena cut a promo “in support” of “Jade. Comma. That bitch.” And said they want to help her because she needs challengers and they both want shots at the TBS Championship. “Good ole J.R.” makes it for 2 great lines. First after Excalibur mentioned the new show “101 Places to Party Before You Die” Tony Schiavone said J.R. had been to most of them and Ross responded “I do have a healthy appetite Tony!” which gave me visions of the gif of J.R. dancing on SmackDown but happening in various party spots around the world and that made me laugh. And later when Nese came out Schiavone said “You know what Nese brings to the ring” to which Ross responded “Abs” and that made me laugh. He also mentioned not initially being a Cassidy fan and that a lot of old fans don’t like his style but that everyone needs to catch up with the times and I couldn’t agree more.
5. Konosuke Takeshita. The 2013 Tokyo Sports “Rookie of the Year” has been absolutely on fire the last two episodes of Rampage and has been such a master class on how to elevate somebody despite losses that Busted Open should release a Sunday podcast on him. Cagematch has his opening match against Eddie Kingston officially listed as just under 12 minutes but it felt like they went 20, in a good way. Takeshita showed some fire early on when he pushed Eddie into the ropes and Eddie held his hands up and said “We’re good” only to eat a chop from the DDT product. He ate the machine gun chops from Kingston in the corner but then switched spots and hammered Eddie with rapid corner forearms. He hit a leaping clothesline, a lariat and a blue thunder bomb for just 2. Takeshita hit Kingston with a German suplex on the apron and held it as they went to the floor but Eddie turned it into an exploder suplex and both men got in the ring at 9 to beat the count. Eddie turned him inside out with a big shot for just 1 followed by a Liger Bomb from Eddie for 2. The crowd started a “This is awesome!” chant because it was. Takeshita blocked a Uraken, peppered Kingston with shots of his own and landed a sheer drop brainbuster for 2. The two men knelt and exchanged shots and continued doing so as they rose. Kingston flattened Takeshita with a half and half suplex…or so we thought. Takeshita popped right up. Eddie then hit a Uraken, Takeshita hit a jumping knee and Eddie hit one more Uraken and collapsed on to Takeshita for the 3. Commentary sold that Kingston may not have won if not for falling into the cover and they told us Takeshita is only 26 but had his first match at 16. Kingston also later put over Takeshita when he started a promo talking about how his back, ribs and neck hurt and how Konosuke is the future. I’m excited to see more of Takeshita going forward. If Omega can ever be back near 100% him and the DDT standout in an AEW ring could be a classic!
4. Serena Deeb. This show was one of the best Rampage’s ever for furthering storylines and Deeb teaming with Mercedes Martinez to beat Christina Marie and Kayla Sparks did just that. Despite moving to 5-0 as a tag team the tension between the victors was clear as day as they continued their “anything you can do” beating style. Deeb shouted at Martinez that she could learn something from her but Martinez tagged in and showed no interest in being a student of the younger Deeb. She hit a running knee to a seated Christina Marie and a side kick to her face as Deeb held her in a camal clutch position. Deeb blind tagged in as Martinez hit the executioner forearm and locked in a Serenity Lock for a quick submission win. After the match they reluctantly celebrated but Deeb crushed Martinez with a lariat and locked her in the Serenity Lock for a quick tap from Martinez. The assumption here is these 2 clash for the ROH Women’s Championship at Death Before Dishonor and that could be a fun, hard hitting affair.
3. Orange Cassidy. He won. Whatever. Just kidding. I really wanted to do that but his main event win over Tony Nese was just too fun. The pre-match interview was a hoot too as “Very professional. Very evil.” attorney Danhausen in a tie and jacket (but T-Shirt and Danhausen skin) advised “Smart” Mark Sterling to direct any questions for his client Orange Cassidy to Danhausen or else they’d be hearsay. This match was a blast with O.C. uniquely putting his hands in his pockets on the floor following a shoulder block. This was shot perfectly from above. He then rolled away to avoid a leg drop, rolled to the floor and back in the ring, rolled through to avoid a Nese shot and landed a dropkick all with his hands firmly planted in his pocket. Nese did some stuff too but he belittled Cassanova Valentine on Twitter a few months back and as a big Valentine fan I’m still holding a grudge. After being stopped from hitting a tornado DDT severely times throughout the match Cassidy turned a pumphandle slam attempt from Nese into a successful DDT, hit another tornado DDT and a third diving DDT off the ropes but all that only resulted in a 2. Sterling then got on the apron and in possibly THE BEST EXCHANGE IN WRESTLING HISTORY Cassidy laid in to Sterling with the lazy kicks and Sterling, smelling a lawsuit dropped like he’d been shot and screamed in pain. If I was drinking at the time I’d have surely shot whatever beverage was in hand through my nose on that. Nese capotalized on the distraction by hitting a sit out pumphandle driver for 2. Fans again chanted “This is awesome!” for the 2nd match of the night. Cassidy avoided a running knee from Nese in the corner and as Sterling entered with a clipboard Danhausen got revenge for an earlier curse attempt being cut off by nailing Sterling with a straight punch below the belt. Cassidy then flipped Nese with an Orange Punch and got the win to avoid having to sign The People Against Swerve Strickland. The show closed with Cassidy wearing Danhausen’s tie and Danhausen wearing Cassidy’s glasses and that is an image that should hang in the Louvre.
2. Jonathan Gresham. He teamed with Lee Moriarty to face The Gates of Agony from Tully Blanchard Enterprises and took a loss but showed getting a win was never really his true intention. Early in the match there was a spot that had me puzzled where Moriarty went to make a hot tag but “The Foundation” walked away on the apron jawing with Tully on the outside. The timing was so strange that I thought it might have been a botch but later on we found out it was not. Moriarty avoided a corner splash from Toa Liona, dropkicked Kaun out of the ring and then low bridged Liona to finally tag in “The Octopus” but Gresham jumped off the apron instead of tagging in and hugged Tully Blanchard as Liona hit a discus lariat on Moriarty and Kaun hit a fireman’s carry into a gut buster for 3. Backstage Gresham told us he signed in March but had been sitting around doing nothing until Tully called. Blanchard said Tully Blanchard Enterprises is alive and well and they shook hands. We found out Moriarty is getting his shot at Gresham and the ROH World Championship…next week on Rampage. This one was confusing. With Death Before Dishonor coming up in a few weeks I assumed Moriarty v. Gresham would be the title match. But maybe BCC evens the odds for Moriarty and Danielson or Claudio can take on Gresham for the belt while Moriarty can team with either Claudio (if Bryan is back) or Ortiz (if Claudio is in the title match) to face Gates of Agony on the show. We’ll see but I do LOVE the idea of evil, short Jonathan Gresham being surrounded by 3 monsters in Brian Cage and The Gates of Agony. This has me so much more interested than him just being a good technical wrestler leading a bunch of good technical wrestlers in The Foundation.
1. Eddie Kingston. I went over his match already and it was better than the bulk of Eddie’s singles work I’ve seen honestly. But where Eddie constantly shines the brightest is on the mic and getting me to buy in to his story. And he did that again tonight. Later in the night a sore Kingston cut a promo on Jericho saying that Jericho made him a liar because he promised everyone he’d make him bleed and he didn’t. And he’s going to bleed for making him a liar. It’s not about Eddie anymore though. He wants Jericho’s blood for everybody else. For Santana, Ortiz and The Blackpool Combat Club. Every drop of blood Chris spills is going to be for a sin he comitted. And the final drop will be for his Ruby. He wants Chris in the barbed wire. At the end of the night we found out we’re going to get just that as Dynamite on July 20thwill be headlined by Kingston v. Jericho in a barbed wire death match! With the Jericho Appreciation Society in a shark cage! I love everything about this even if I question the logistics of this match. Are they going no rope barbed wire? That seems too timely to set-up for a TV show. Are they going to have barbed wire boards, bats, brooms and other weapons around ringside? That could work. Or do they wrap the ropes themselves in barbed wire? I can’t recall seeing that but that could be fun. Especially if Jericho goes to do a Lionsault and eats a barbed wire piece to the foot to stop it. I can’t wait regardless!
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