AEW Rampage Power Rankings: ROH Ice Cream on top of AEW Pizza

In late 2007/early 2008 I discovered wrestling podcasts. The Pro Wrestling Blog podcast hosted by Lex Luthor was my first foray into the rabbit hole that comes with being an “IWC” style “smarky” fan. Lex would recap ROH shows and him talking about an angle where a group called The Age of the Fall debuted sounded so exciting that I went and ordered the DVD of Man Up 2007 where that debut took place. On the heels of that I got tickets to A New Level in May of 2008 and I was instantly sold. While I never religiously watched the product I kept up to date on all the major stories and would watch or attend a few shows each year for the decade or so that followed. But in the last few years, I haven’t followed as closely as AEW and WWE took so much of the talent that made ROH ROH. But Tony Khan doesn’t care. Whether I want to watch ROH or not he’s giving it to me. I made the analogy on Twitter that while I love ice cream and love pizza you putting ice cream I didn’t order on the pizza slice I did only ruins both. Tony keeps putting ROH ice cream on my AEW pizza and I don’t like it. So let’s get to the rankings where I complain even more about it! 

Honorable Mention: AEW. You guys remember the promotion that used to air Rampage before ROH apparently got the rights to it? I miss them. Hopefully, with The Elite seemingly returning any week now they’ll bring AEW back with them. 

5. Ricky Starks. “Absolute” was in front of the crowd and said he never had to beg to be liked because fans like him because he’s good. And he liked them too. He says there’s 6 questions people want to know about the eliminator tournament and he’s got the answer for 1 of them, he’s entering his name in it. He says people who consider themselves pillars are celebrating as the company crumbles. He’s not going to let it happen. He’s going to put the company on his back. When he wins he questions what happens if he faces Moxley and Mox runs out of blood? Or what happens when a generational talent in MJF faces an absolute one in Starks? He doesn’t deal in if, ands or maybes. He deals in definites and absolutes. This tournament bracket only having two names announced prior to tonight, just over 2 weeks before the finals felt really rushed and mishandled. They also should have been clearer on the timeline prior to tonight because they were taking so long to get going it almost felt like it might be King of the Ring style with multiple rounds, if not the whole tournament on the same night and honestly that sounds like an interesting new wrinkle for a company that loves tournaments more than I do (and I love me some brackets). The other 5 names were revealed in a bracket that was shown for what felt like less time than a Bray Wyatt QB code but I was able to find it after the show and Archer, Kingston, Bandido, Rush and Brian Cage join Starks, Page and Martin to round out the field. The logical assumption is Starks and Page are the final at Full Gear but with AEW lately simply hinting at a direction doesn’t seem to make it the route they follow. 

4. Sammy Guevara. In the back earlier in the show Claudio says he draws the line at Jericho attacking non-wrestlers. He’s never gotten his rematch and he wants it. Bryan also says he swears if Jericho gives him one last crack at the title he’ll take it off of him and stomp his head in. Regal says the ball is in Jericho’s court and he can make his choice. 

After a recap of him calling out Lamar Jackson on Dynamite and the former MVP’s response at a press conference Jericho turned his attention to the Blackpool Combat Club. After taking a jab at Regal’s GM experience he said a lesser man might choose neither but he thinks the BCC don’t like each other already. So he chooses both. But he’s not dumb so to make sure things are even he wants Sammy Guevara in the match too. Because Sammy and he have never been at odds. And once Claudio and Bryan beat the hell out of each other Jericho knows Sammy will do the right thing. Sammy looked excited at his name being added but then puzzled at Jericho seemingly wanting him to lay down. Later on Sammy was interviewed by Tony Schiavone and he declines to talk about the Jericho situation but says at Full Gear the title will stay within the J.A.S. Sammy talks about looking up to Bryan and watching him while Sammy was working in Subway and he knows he could have beaten him so he challenges Bryan to a 2/3 falls match next week. This is an interesting twist to the story and I’m sure bell to bell the 4 way at Full Gear will be up there as one of the best 4 ways ever but with so much time allotted to ROH on the road to Full Gear it really sucks that the 2 more well-built singles matches that they’ve seemingly been hinting at and subtly building to for months in Garcia v. Jericho and Bryan v. Yuta appear to be being held off for Final Battle. I don’t mind ROH I just wish they’d get their own show because force-feeding it onto AEW programming but leaving the assumed payoff for ROH PPVs just feels cheap and unappreciative of my time. Sammy gets the spot here because this is the first intriguing twist to his story in a long time. 

3. Wardlow. During the pre-match interview with Mark Henry, Prince Nana says The Embassy stays ready and he questions if WarJoe are ready to walk through the gates of hell? Wardlow says he’s walked through hell before but his only focus is on Powerhouse Hobbs who has attacked him from behind twice. He dares him to try it a third time tonight. After some back and forth Samoa Joe pulled Toa Liona from the ring and locked in a rear naked choke. Wardlow tried for a powerbomb but got distracted by Prince Nana. After knocking Nana off the apron he delivered four powerbombs to Kaun for the win. Powerhouse Hobbbs music hit and as he came out on the ramp Wardlow pushed past Joe to stare Hobbs down but commentary acknowledged Joe didn’t look happy about it. But Joe patted Wardlow on the stomach as they went off the air with Wardlow holding the TNT belt and Hobbs motioning for it. I don’t mind any of the people involved here. I’m a huge Prince Nana guy. I think Wardlow is special. As is Hobbs. Joe is great. Kaun has the look of a future main eventer and Toa Liona is solid too. But it’s feeling like recent Raws penned by Vince McMahon with how repetitive this has gotten. Keep The Embassy away from WarJoe for a while please. Wardlow v. Hobbs should be great I just wish we didn’t need so much ROH involvement to get here. Though if they do add Joe and go with a triple threat I could understand it a little more. 

2. Jamie Hayter. Backstage Toni Storm questions how that nice girl she was homeless with during the pandemic could turn into what she has. Hayter is responsible for the decisions she’s making and Storm will be responsible for what happens to her at Full Gear. Later Hayter and Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. teamed up to take on Skye Blue and Madison Rayne. Hayter took it to Skye Blue early on. Baker hit a swinging neckbreaker on Rayne but Skye Blue broke it up. After the 4 exchanged blows Rayne avoided a stomp from Baker and caught her with an enzuigiri before trying to crucifix Hayter. But Hayter powered through the attempt and hit a Ripchord lariat for the win. After the match, Hayter grabbed the mic which brought out Toni Storm. Storm flattened Rebel with the belt and threw Baker into the barricade before she and Hayter came to blows. She locked Hayter in a Texas Cloverleaf but Baker cracked Storm with the belt before handing it to Hayter and raising her hand as she posed over Storm. The match wasn’t anything special but I appreciated Baker not just helping Hayter but putting the belt on her shoulder. AEW being AEW they could always go back to dissension between the 2 but the amount of tension between pairings who don’t actually split is exhausting so I’d like for them to just put that to bed for at least a little while with a few of the alliances. 

1. Orange Cassidy. Katsuyori Shibata opened the night facing Orange Cassidy in the “All Atlantic City Dream Match” with “Iron” Mike Tyson on commentary. According to Cagematch, this was Shibata’s first match since January 4th of this year. Shibata wouldn’t give Cassidy a chance to do his usual shtick early on; grabbing a headlock off the bat before Orange could put his hands in his pockets and then running him into multiple barricades outside. Shibata mocked Cassidy with lazy kicks to Cassidy on all fours. Cassidy retaliated by mocking Shibata’s seated taunt. So Shibata sat down too and Cassidy did a lazy chop exchange before Shibata delivered a thunderous shot and a corner dropkick. Cassidy hit Shibata with a PK but he rolled back and sat back up. Orange peppered him with a flurry of PKs that sadly looked really light and not in the usual Cassidy comedy way before hitting another running one. Shibata hit an Orange Punch of his own before Cassidy countered an offensive attempt into a Stundog Millionaire. Cassidy hit a Beach Break but Shibata kicked out. Shibata had Cassidy in a choke but Orange escaped and finally hit an Orange Punch of his own to retain the All-Atlantic Championship. After the match, the two shook hands and Cassidy put glasses on Shibata’s face and they posed together. This was a really fun opener that should have closed the show because it had nothing to do with ROH and turns out Rampage is still an AEW show somehow. 

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