By the end of this week the long-rumored AEW Saturday night show “Collision” should be officially announced, formally supplanting Rampage as the B show and sending it into Velocity territory. But until that happens AEW is still pretending this show matters so I’m still ranking it. Let’s get to it!
Honorable Mention: Toni Storm. In our second match of the night Storm, accompanied by The Outcasts took on well known veteran Allysin Kay who it said was making her “2023 AEW debut” which I can only assume means she did matches for Dark prior to this year. Kay nearly had Storm beat with a Crunchy when The Outcasts got involved to distract Aubrey Edwards. Storm capitalized with a German Suplex, corner hip attack and a Storm Zero for the win.
5. QTV. QT said AEW has sold over 60,000 tickets as Solo whispered to Harley Cameron that he heard it only seats 8,000. A clear dig at people online questioning how many seats AEW coupd actually move. QT asked Harley if she was from there but she said “Eww, I’m Australian. Have you seen my teeth?” Marshall wanted dirt on the foreign fans anyway and Cameron offered the gem that she heard if you live in England but weren’t born there they say you’re “Brit-ish” After QT questioned if anyone heard from Hobbs Harley threw to an interview she did with him on a couch earlier in the day where, in a scene that resembled the start of a Val Venis film, a Shirtless Hobbs said everyone has a book and it doesn’t matter how many pages are in it, just who’s holding the pen.
4. The Gunns. Billy’s boys complained that a ref cost them their titles by deciding half way through their match to pick sides and not DQ “those scumbags”. Swerve In Our Glory got a rematch, The Acclaimed got a rematch but the Gunns aren’t getting their rematch. But being the best team in AEW it’s not going to take them long to get back to the titles. Ethan Page showed up and said he hopes they do and they get back to being his friends because he has a problem he needs help with. The trio walked off together. After recapping The Firm Deletion Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy and “Brother Zay” were out to the ring for an interview with Tony Schiavone. Matt talked about their contracts with The Firm being “Deleted!” as Kassidy moaned between lines like Stone Cold’s “What?” Jeff talked about them getting back for their final run and becoming AEW Tag Team Champions for the first time. Austin and Colten Gunn cut them off. They said they wanted to help Page with his problem because Page wants to kick all three of their asses and so do they. Matt says he’ll fight the Gunns but he doesn’t want to see Page anymore. He asks if they have a match and he wins if he can now be in control of Ethan Page’s contract? The Gunns huddled up and accepted. I’ll be rooting hard for Matt’s side because he could force Page to be Jeff’s full time chauffeur and help not just this story but everyone he’d otherwise share the road with. Colten said they’re the best team of brothers and as long as they’re there the Hardys will never be tag champs before mocking Kassidy’s moan. Matt said they’ll “Delete!” the Gunns.
3. The Acclaimed & Daddy Ass. The likely contenders to the Trios Championship opened the night against The Butcher, The Blade and Kip Sabian. In his pre-match rap Caster said their foes looked like the guys who tried to kidnap Governor Whitmer which made me laugh pretty hard after a quick google comparison. He also said Butcher had the worst mustache since Vince McMahon and that they probably get (censored but I assume a sexual act you can easily deduce by seeing the memorial) Joe Louis statue. That also made me chuckle because I didn’t remember the statue either until I saw a picture of it. Apparently I’m oblivious to everything Detroit outside of the Lions, Pistons & Little Casesars. The match itself was fine but not much to write about. Bowens hit what Excalibur called the Arrival (despite it not having the usual twist and being more of a urange) and Caster hit the Mic Drop in about 10 minutes for the win.
2. Kyle Fletcher. One half of Aussie Open and the next contender to the AEW International Championship made his AEW singles debut facing off with Action Andretti who was accompanied by Darius Martin. A pairing that has never been established on AEW TV. Excalibur did say that a win for Andretti may give he and Martin a shot at one of the two tag titles Aussie Open holds. My old man complaint for this match is the 2 guys both wore nearly identical color schemes of green, white and black. As much of a pet peeve as tag teams not matching is for me, opponents who do match might be my #1. Maybe if one guy had a singlet or shorts or trunks it wouldn’t have bothered me as much but both guys were shirtless with long pants. Andretti hit a bottom rope torneo which always looks cool. There was a lot of other fast paced, high flying action but nothing that stood out as especially unique. Fletcher eventually got the win with a spinning tombstone. This was really just to showcase Fletcher as a singles act before his match with Cassidy and it did its job.
1. The Mogul Embassy. The triple box was back for the main event of The Mogul Embassy against Alex Reynolds and John Silver. Swerve said he didn’t replace the Affiliates, he upgraded. And he and Nana said with that comes gentrification and expansion which was kind of a funny line. Nana had the balaclava or as the kids call it a “Pooh Shiesty Mask” under his regular crown which was a funny look but fits the new alliance. Silver agreed and offered them a spot in the Dark Order. Instead Swerve said they were going to put the Dark Order out of business. Evil Uno was in a suit and I’ll always be a sucker for a wrestler in a full suit but a luchador mask. Something just feels fun and old school about it. As for the match, Silver and Brian Cage had a funny yay/boo pose down early on. Late in the match Nana distracted Reynolds while he and Swerve were on the ropes which allowed Swerve to knock him off and try for a stomp but Renolds avoided it and Dark Order hit their strike combination, stunner, German suplex/jackknife cover for just 2 as Cage on the floor, in one motion, pulled Reynolds from the cover and crotched him against the ring post. Silver tried to dive on to cage but got caught and taken out. Cage tagged in and tried for a powerbomb but got small packaged by Reynolds for 2. He caught Reynolds with a pop-up powerbomb and turned immediately into a sweet looking F5/cutter combination from he and Swerve but Reynolds kicked out and the fans fired up. There was a series of strikes exchanged between all 4 men while Nana grabbed Silver’s foot in the corner. Then Swerve hit a JML Driver on Silver as Cage hit a simultaneous Drill Claw on Reynolds for the win. Gates of Agony hit the ring after the bell and took out Evil Uno which brought out Naturally Limitless. Dustin had a pipe and chain and Keith Lee had a stansion which is such a comical but fitting weapon for a beast like Lee. This match was a hoot even if the post match angle was a bit predictable. I’m hoping we FINALLY get Lee and Swerve in a singles match at Double or Nothing because there are enough faction/multi-man stories that an old school 1 on 1 would be cool but Dustin, Silver & Reynolds v. Cage & Gates of Agony would make for a fun trios match either on a Rampage or Dynamite leading to Double or Nothing or as a Buy In match. Just don’t make this another 8 man tag please. Don’t put Swerve and Lee in a match until it’s THE match.
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